We've been giving Final Fantasy 14's cosmetic store bigger and bigger passes as time's gone on. Like most FF14 players, I'm grateful we don't have to deal with loot boxes or battle passes or any of that nonsense—so what's the harm in a $29.99 motorbike to grease the wheels now and then? We're paying for our hubris now, because this is not great.
Square Enix revealed the Iceheart's Attire on Twitter/X yesterday. For the uninitiated, this is the outfit of a central character from the Heavensward expansion, Ysale (otherwise known as Lady Iceheart). They've sold similar outfits in the past, allowing players to pay a few bucks to get NPC-specific gear for their Warrior of Light, either for virtual cosplay reasons or as unique options for entirely new outfits.
The only problem? You can basically recreate this drip in-game, for free, as Inksrocket on the FFXIV subreddit points out in a post that's garnered over 3,000 upvotes at the time of writing.
There are obviously some minor differences, but the Lady Iceheart outfit you can make at home is pretty much there. Qalexiaffxiv on Twitter/X took to the site to fully lay out how you could recreate something that's basically just as good. Everything (except for the robe) is gear you get from completing a tutorial named the "Hall of the Novice" at around level 15.
The chest piece Qalexiaffxiv mentions is a level 90 piece of gear exclusive to spellcasters, while the paid equivalent can be used on all jobs—except user Tazthemenace found a class-agnostic equivalent in the Altered Felt Robe, so it doesn't even have that going for it.
This might've been fine if Square Enix were to release Lady Iceheart's unique hairstyle along with the set, as they've done for other similar outfits in the past. But nope, nary a platinum tress in sight. Safe to say, this has not gone down swimmingly. Lucy Pyre, a popular FF14 Vtuber, commented: "this is 18 dollars? you know it's not april 1st yet, right? you are joking, right??? haha funny????? 18 dollars??????? 18 dollars ?? ? ?"
I've kept her question-mark spacing intact, because I feel like it properly conveys our shared bafflement. YouTuber Kouagon also posted this, which at the time of writing has about 400 more likes than the original announcement. A small ratio, but it checks out.
FF14 is my favourite MMO, but these dunks are super well-deserved. The outfit's barely different from its free counterpart—which can also be dyed, by the way—and doesn't even offer the hairstyle you'd need to digitally cosplay the character. As user TheGayViera writes: "Go buy a big mac, go buy two. It's legitimately a better use of your money."