Wife Says Husband Asked to Reschedule Their Annual Holiday Tradition So He Could Go on Trip with New Friend
"He told me it’s not a big deal for us to just go another weekend," the woman wrote in a Reddit post
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Stock photo of a man and woman arguingA woman says she was hurt after her husband asked to reschedule their annual holiday tradition so he could hang out with a new friend.
In a recent post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?" forum, a 32-year-old woman said that for the past six years, she and her husband, 35, go to a nearby "lakeside town" the weekend before Thanksgiving to spend the day together and pick out a new ornament for their Christmas tree.
Then her husband made a new friend at his gym.
"They hit it off quickly, and I think it’s great because my husband doesn’t make new friends easily," the woman wrote. But what she didn't think was so great was the fact that her husband's friend invited him on a weekend trip the conflicted with their standing plans.
Then she was "caught off guard" when her husband asked if they could move their tradition to another weekend so that he could still go.
"He told me it’s not a big deal for us to just go another weekend, and he’s right in the sense that it doesn’t really affect anything logistically," she wrote.
But when she told her husband she felt like he was "minimizing something that's special to us," she said he "looked surprised and then frustrated, saying I was overreacting."
At the end of their conversation, the woman's husband agreed to keep their annual trip, but seemed "disappointed" in the decision.
"Part of me wonders if I’m being stubborn about a little ritual that maybe only I care about as much as I do," she added.
In a series of updates, she went on to clarify that since they've always taken the trip on the same weekend, "the timing feels like a integral part of the tradition itself," which is why she didn't want to mix things up.
She also said that she decided to talk to her husband again to explain "why our little tradition feels so special to me."
She said that her husband told her he "hadn't realized how much it meant to me," but that he also wanted her to know that "he'd been excited about the trip...because it was the first time in a long while that someone reached out to him like that."
Related: https://people.com/woman-declined-friends-invitation-vegan-thanksgiving-87408
Ultimately, she said they "both agreed we could have handled the conversation better and that neither of us wanted the other to feel like their feelings didn’t matter."
"As said earlier, we’ve decided to stick to our tradition this year as planned, and my husband is going to plan a weekend trip with his friend in January, when the holidays are over," she added.
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The Reddit post sparked plenty of conversation — and the majority of commenters sided with the wife.
"It's not just a random trip; it’s a tradition that’s been part of your marriage for six years. Asking him to prioritize something that’s meaningful to you isn’t being unreasonable — it’s about honoring the connection you share," read one reply.
Another commenter added that while they sympathized with a number of opinions, they really understood why the woman was so upset.
"I understand that everyone thinks she should be okay with moving it, but as someone who loves traditions as well, OP explains this is really special to her," the commenter wrote. "Yes, they can move the weekend, but I think it’s the principle of the matter."
Added another commenter, "Hopefully, he’ll see it as a small but important compromise for the long-term happiness of your relationship."
