Here's why you should share your secrets, according to science

The effects of sharing a secret are different to what we imagine. (Getty Images)
The effects of sharing a secret are different to what we imagine. (Getty Images)

Most people fear that when they reveal something negative about themselves, such as an ugly habit or a past transgression, then they will be judged.

As a result, many are reluctant to reveal negative stories from their past – but those fears are overblown, a study has found. In fact, according to researchers from the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin, revealing 'bad' information about yourself often has positive effects.

Study co-author Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing at Texas McCombs, said: "When we're thinking about conveying negative information about ourselves, we're focused on the content of the message. But the recipients are thinking about the positive traits required to reveal this secret, such as trust, honesty and vulnerability."

Regardless of whether people are revealing secrets to close family or to strangers, the effect is often positive, Kumar said.

Why people are more charitable you expect

When study participants pushed through fear to reveal a secret, those in whom they confided were significantly more charitable than they expected.

Wide shot with copy space of couple having cappuccinos and cheesecake in coffee shop
Most of us anticipate negative effects when we share secrets. (Getty Images)

In 12 experiments, researchers asked several groups to imagine revealing a negative secret and to predict how another person would judge them. When the secrets were revealed, the expected judgement was consistently worse than the actual judgement.

If you reveal secrets, people think you are trustworthy

People worry that if they reveal they have told a lie, for example, others might think they are less trustworthy – but actually, revealing the secret has the opposite effect.

"If we believe other people will think we're less trustworthy, that can really impact our decision to conceal information," Kumar said.

In the experiments, though, disclosure had the opposite effect. Recipients rated the revealers' honesty and trustworthiness more highly than the revealers expected.

Even 'big' secrets are worth sharing

The participants revealed a wide range of negative information, from admitting they had never learned to ride a bike to confessing infidelity.

They predicted that more serious secrets would generate worse judgements. But even for darker secrets, they still overestimated the positive impact of being honest enough to share.

Kumar said: "The magnitude of what you're revealing can impact people's evaluations, but it also impacts your expectations of those evaluations. There's a psychological burden associated with secrecy. If we can alter people's expectations to make them more in line with reality, they might be more transparent in their relationships."

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