Here's why you should share your secrets, according to science
Most people fear that when they reveal something negative about themselves, such as an ugly habit or a past transgression, then they will be judged.
As a result, many are reluctant to reveal negative stories from their past – but those fears are overblown, a study has found. In fact, according to researchers from the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin, revealing 'bad' information about yourself often has positive effects.
Study co-author Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing at Texas McCombs, said: "When we're thinking about conveying negative information about ourselves, we're focused on the content of the message. But the recipients are thinking about the positive traits required to reveal this secret, such as trust, honesty and vulnerability."
Regardless of whether people are revealing secrets to close family or to strangers, the effect is often positive, Kumar said.
Why people are more charitable you expect
When study participants pushed through fear to reveal a secret, those in whom they confided were significantly more charitable than they expected.
In 12 experiments, researchers asked several groups to imagine revealing a negative secret and to predict how another person would judge them. When the secrets were revealed, the expected judgement was consistently worse than the actual judgement.
If you reveal secrets, people think you are trustworthy
People worry that if they reveal they have told a lie, for example, others might think they are less trustworthy – but actually, revealing the secret has the opposite effect.
"If we believe other people will think we're less trustworthy, that can really impact our decision to conceal information," Kumar said.
In the experiments, though, disclosure had the opposite effect. Recipients rated the revealers' honesty and trustworthiness more highly than the revealers expected.
Even 'big' secrets are worth sharing
The participants revealed a wide range of negative information, from admitting they had never learned to ride a bike to confessing infidelity.
They predicted that more serious secrets would generate worse judgements. But even for darker secrets, they still overestimated the positive impact of being honest enough to share.
Kumar said: "The magnitude of what you're revealing can impact people's evaluations, but it also impacts your expectations of those evaluations. There's a psychological burden associated with secrecy. If we can alter people's expectations to make them more in line with reality, they might be more transparent in their relationships."
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