“Today the sun was shining, the birds were singing and McDonald’s share price in Florida just went way up because America just got a brand new dad.”
Trevor Noah’s latest monologue breaks down some of the noteworthy moments from Joe Biden’s inauguration. He said the moment where Biden was sworn in would stay in his memory forever, revealing his bewilderment that Biden’s middle name is Robinette.
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Despite the ongoing pandemic, Noah said this inauguration had it all, making jokes about Lady Gaga’s and Michelle Obama’s outfits and the instantly meme-able photo of Bernie Sanders. “Former presidents, the youngest inaugural poet, an amazing singer wearing her own Etsy store, an old man on his way to the post office and even a lady whose outfit just called me a broke bitch,” he said.
He then continued by touching upon the various people that Trump pardoned, including Steve Bannon, Kodak Black and Lil Wayne. Noah joked that pardoning rappers is a terrible thing to do because “you’re taking away their street cred. Now what are they going to rap about?”
Noah pointed out that Trump is not the first president to issue odd pardons on his way out the door. “I mean, Bill Clinton famously pardoned his brother and a really dodgy businessman whose ex-wife donated to Clinton’s library.” If anything, Noah said Trump should have gone further and pardoned Joe Exotic, the incarcerated star of the hit series “Tiger King.” “I don’t know about you, but I want — no, I need — a second season of that show.”
There was also an acknowledgment that Trump did not greet Biden at the White House, which Noah called a snub. “But on the other hand, I’m not sure that Trump needs to be there now because how would that conversation even go?” He then poked fun at the fact that Biden used to work at the White House and probably knows his way around better than Trump does.
Once he entered the White House, Biden signed over a dozen executive orders, including the reversal of the Muslim travel ban and rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement. Noah said it must be weird for other countries that America is rejoining the Paris Accord. “Under Obama, America celebrated the Paris Accords. But then, under Trump, it was like ‘Fuck the Paris Accords! Let the planet burn!’ And then, now under Biden, it’s like, ‘Alright, guys, I’m back in the Paris Accords. Sorry. Yeah, and I’m also back on my meds.'”
Noah ended his monologue by saying he understands why Americans are angry at the state that Trump left the U.S. in, but asks them to look at the few silver linings. “One — America survived Trump, and in doing so, displayed its resilience. And two — Trump’s term has truly exposed so many of the flaws in America’s system.”
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