The top phone behaviors that kill a marriage, according to a couples’ therapist
A couples’ therapist is giving hints on how your partner’s phone activity may signal you might need to cut the cord on the relationship.
Jonathan Van Viegen is an online family therapist and social media influencer who claims he can help people transform their relationship from “conflict to connection” if they use his tips and programs.
In a recent viral Instagram reel, the married father-of-two revealed the top nine phone behaviors that have the potential to kill a marriage.
The top red flag is not sharing passwords with a partner, according to Van Viegen.
The next “disheartening” behaviors he warned include when partners are “hiding their phone” and “keeping [their] phone face down.”
Other habits on the list include when a partner turns their body or phone away from you while they’re on it, if your spouse closes apps or locks the device when you get near them, if they recently changed their password, if they are hot and cold about you touching their phone, if they get angry or defensive when asked about why privacy is important and if they’re always protective of their device.
The relationship therapist, with over 162,000 Instagram followers, claimed his wife agreed the nine behaviors are harmful and they would “never” let actions like this happen in their marriage.
“Not saying you should follow our example – so you do you. But be reassured knowing that at least one other couple in the world isn’t putting up with these disheartening red flags,” Van Viegen wrote.
His post received mixed reviews in the comment section.
“These are healthy relationship behaviors. The people who think that’s controlling probably don’t have healthy boundaries/relationships,” one person wrote.
Others say some of the things he listed invade their partner’s privacy and aren’t needed.
“Why don’t we normalize secure attachment styles instead that focus on trust and allow privacy without secrecy,” a user suggested.
“I have a phone addiction and putting it face down drastically decreases how often I get on my phone. Its behavior modification,” another person pushed back in the comment section.
Van Viegen’s page is full of helping pairs rebuild their relationships so if phone issues have caused major distrust in a partnership, in a separate video, he encouraged users to “approach trust issues with optimism and practicality.”
