With a top Republican currently taking up just about all the attention online with four criminal indictments, it’s been awhile since Texas Sen. Ted Cruz has been the main character of social media. But he reigned supreme Thursday morning, as users ripped apart a beer-fueled rant Cruz made on Newsmax.
During his appearance on the network, Cruz can be seen in a poorly lit room, standing in front of a group of men in trucker and cowboy hats. In the clip, which you can watch below, Cruz begins by angrily saying Democrats are “trying to go after and regulate ceiling fans.” He then turns his ire to a new alcohol “guideline” for Americans.
What is it with liberals and wanting to control every damn aspect of your life?
If they want us to drink two beers a week, frankly they can kiss my ass. pic.twitter.com/rzSySj5TCh
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) August 31, 2023
“And now these idiots have come out and said, ‘Drink two beers a week.’ That’s their guideline,” Cruz huffed, before grabbing a bottle of beer from off-camera. “Well, I’ve got to tell you, if they want us to drink two beers a week, frankly they can kiss my ass!”
Then, in unison with the group of men behind him, Cruz took a swig from his bottle. The Newsmax host appeared to know that this choreography was coming, as he pulled out his own bottle – though he noted the beer was non-alcoholic, because he’s not allowed to drink alcohol on-air – and drank with the men who were states away.
You can probably imagine how the posts on X went from there, but we’ve rounded them up for you, just to be thorough.
“Translation: Alcoholism is all I have left and by God nobody will take that away from me,” one person joked. “I guess being outraged by a suggestion is what passes for GOP leadership.”
Ted Cruz: "If they want us to drink two beers a week, they can kiss my ass."
Translation: Alcoholism is all I have left and by God nobody will take that away from me.
— LA Blue Dot in GA
(@namwella1961) August 31, 2023
Indeed, the guideline that Cruz and other conservatives are outraged over this week is not actually a mandate, or even a hard and fast rule. It’s simply a suggestion, and many X users spelled that out in their mockery.
The suggestion stems from an interview Dr. George Koob, the director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, did with DailyMail.com.
During the conversation, he noted that when the current alcohol guidelines are reassessed two years from now, he wouldn’t be surprised if they were lowered to match Canada’s recommendations, where people are advised to have just two drinks per week.
But again, these guidelines in the US aren’t up for review until 2025. And, if they were to be changed, it would be recommendations for consumption, not actual laws put in place. So no, the Biden administration and fellow Democrats are not suddenly banning beers.
Several users roasted Cruz for attempting to look like a “tough guy” in the segment, but instead churning out “the corniest s— I’ve ever seen.”
This is the corniest shit I’ve ever seen.
Priceton grad Ted Cruz tries to look like a tough guy about a fake story—dropping a “kiss my ass” and taking a sip of beer in unison with his tough guy “friends.” pic.twitter.com/6WlDfS9sjf
— Sawyer Hackett (@SawyerHackett) August 31, 2023
This is So bizarre and cringe. Ted Cruz trying to look like a “tough guy.”
A real “tough guy defends his wife and father from attacks and doesn't run away to Cancun when a storm hits the state he represents in the US Senate. pic.twitter.com/CX8uoi4W4H
— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) August 31, 2023
This pathetic display proves that Ted Cruz is the thirstiest motherf*cker on the planet.
But it ain’t for beer.pic.twitter.com/LCLSMrsvwX
— Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) August 31, 2023
You can check out more reactions to Cruz’s rant below.
Craigslist > Lubbock > gigs
$125 for 1 hr. Stand behind Ted Cruz in the shadows. Stare ominously, one hand in pocket. Swig of beer when our PA gives the signal. Trucker or cowboy hat, flannel or any workwear. Gay ok if on the DL. Contact Rick below: https://t.co/dCTsWKvwRF
— Johnny (@flossfewman) August 31, 2023
Has anyone ever looked less tough than Ted Cruz did here? pic.twitter.com/AGf4hWGW9B
— Jason Selvig (@jasonselvig) August 31, 2023
That’s what you said to Texans as you tucked tail and ran to Mexico
— Brett Cross (@BCross052422) August 31, 2023
Gov't health official: It's probably not a good idea to pick your nose and eat it
Ted Cruz: IF JOE BIDEN THINKS HE CAN BAN ME FROM PICKING MY NOSE AND EATING IT HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!!! [picks nose and licks finger dramatically] THIS IS WHAT WE DO IN TEXAS!!! https://t.co/1mUKxnX0MS
— Paul Waldman (@paulwaldman1) August 31, 2023
Ted Cruz is never beating those alcoholism allegations https://t.co/nWpcfytydD
— Elyon113 (@FYP2024) August 31, 2023
dude out here looking like guy fieri with seasonal affective disorder https://t.co/AZA4tSgROh
— Geppetto San Martín 𓅃 (@SmalltimeJones) August 31, 2023