Starfield's terrible sex dialog has me "seeing stars" too

·2-min read

Starfield apparently doesn't show full-blown sex scenes, but that hasn't stopped Bethesda from including some amazingly cheesy pillow talk.

The ESRB's newly released Starfield rating has complicated what was thought to be a closed discussion on sex in Starfield. After all, the Australian rating board flatly observed that it has no sexual content. Well, it turns out Starfield does at least have post-sexual content in the form of "suggestive material in the dialog," including conversations had "after sharing a bed with characters." Incredibly, a few lines were offered as examples in the rating blurb.

  • "Life is a sexually transmitted disease that's a hundred percent fatal."

  • "I'm all for getting a little wild, but next time let's try it without the jetpacks."

  • "Talk about seeing stars, whew... that was amazing."

I'm particularly struck by that second line, not so much because it proposes the possibility of jetpack sex – probably not the case, and also probably not very safe – but because if it's not about jetpack sex, what were these characters discussing that deserved to be sandwiched between these two other lines? Also, if that first line isn't on a shirt at Hot Topic already, it will be soon.

The presence of this kind of dialog in a Bethesda RPG also raises questions about its structure. For instance, does the pillow talk follow a branching format like normal quest conversations? Are there skill checks? That is to say, will your partner storm out of the room in a huff, sheets clutched at their waist, if you fail a pillow talk skill check while trying to be cute and witty? Will the Starfield Direct address these things? Probably not, dammit all.

The ESRB has also confirmed Starfield has "in-game purchases," but that doesn't necessarily mean microtransactions.