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Stardew Valley's 1.6 Update Will Fix Your Marriage

Image: Concerned Ape
Image: Concerned Ape

Stardew Valley’s developer Eric “ConcernedApe” Barone has fired off his latest patch note for the game’s upcoming 1.6 update, and it’s quite possibly the funniest one yet. ConcernedApe is tweeting out a single detail from the 1.6 update’s patch notes once a day until it drops for PC on March 19, and they have all been the most obscure fixes and tweaks you could imagine. The first fix he shared will add saplings to fruit trees, allowing players to more easily relocate their trees if they needed or wanted to. Stardew Valley players lost it over that one. Then ConcernedApe confirmed a fan theory that harvesting in one direction was faster than another, and promised a fix that’d make it just as fast both ways. Another patch note addressed the radius of the player’s downward sword swing and just yesterday, the developer announced the update would make it ever so slightly easier to push your pets out of the way. I really thought that last one would be the funniest one, but today ConcernedApe outdid themselves.

Their latest update on 1.6’s content targets a glitch that many didn’t even know existed. Stardew Valley allows players to pursue romances with the citizens of Pelican Town, which can eventually result in a marriage. First, you have to interact with a character, give them gifts, and max out your relationship with them, which is represented by hearts. At ten hearts, players can propose marriage and have a wedding, but afterwards their spouses gain more hearts, lowering the value of the previous maximum. This would sometimes result in a glitch where, immediately after getting married, spouses would hilariously spiral into a depression and spend the first week of marriage sad and in bed.

Now, spouses will experience a “honeymoon” phase in the first week that prevents them from immediately becoming hollow shells of themselves. That’s right, Stardew’s developer is fixing all your marriages. Everyone, say thank you.

The community understandably lost it. Many responded to ConcernedApe’s tweet by shouting at others about what they were up to that was depressing their spouses. It’s especially funny because no one I know who plays Stardew has ever been normal about the characters they romance. Far too many of my loved ones and close friends are unnaturally drawn to Stardew’s brooding alcoholic Shane, doting on him to alarming extents. And don’t even get me started on the Abigail and Leah lovers in the world.

My friends’ hyperfixations on their in-game romances likely ensured that the glitch never reared its ugly head. Others did get it and could never explain why it happened. Stardew’s 1.6 update will now guarantee happy marriages for all, unless you seek out a divorce of course. Anyone else feel that chill fall over the room?

In addition to all these tweaks and fixes, Stardew’s 1.6 update will be introducing a host of fresh content, like a new festival, making it a jam-packed, expansion-sized addition to the game. It’ll also make the game easier to mod, but that hasn’t stopped ConcernedApe from polishing it to a tee before presumably handing it over to the modding community for the foreseeable future. Afterwards, all eyes are on the eventual console and mobile ports of 1.6 and ConcernedApe’s next game, Haunted Chocolatier, which looks a lot like Stardew but with a bit more action and probably more ghosts.

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