The dos and don'ts of sexting as Abbey Clancy says Peter Crouch's sex emojis turn her off
Abbey Clancy has revealed that her husband, Peter Crouch, has a penchant for sexting her three emojis when he’s in the mood.
“I just don't know how long I can go on with these sexual emojis that you keep sending me,” Clancy said on the couple’s podcast, The Therapy Crouch.
“If the kids go to school and he [Crouch] hears me like, put the key in the door I'm in and no one's in the house, I just get a beaver and an aubergine emoji text. I'm not even gonna say the last one but you can imagine what it is.”
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Clancy clarified that the last emoji Crouch uses is the splashing sweat emoji – but added that the sext he sends her is a major turn-off.
“How vile is that? Am I supposed to go, ‘Oh yeah, now I'm bang up for it,’” she said. “Do you think you're gonna get lucky with those messages?”
“I'm just letting you know, I'm putting my cards on the table,” Crouch replied.
Sexting can have a positive impact on long-term relationships. In fact, one 2012 study found that married couples who sexted were more likely to have higher scores when it came to relationship satisfaction than those who didn’t send sexual text messages.
“Sexting is an effective way to reignite the spark with your partner,” dating coach Hayley Quinn explains. “Done well, it can make your partner feel valued, attractive and, yes, ‘in the mood’ for sex.”
Read more: Why is my sex drive so high?
If you’re a novice when it comes to sexting, Quinn says to make sure you have “enthusiastic consent” first.
“You could ask them, ‘Can I send you a picture of...?’ Or you can be more subtle by telling them you're just getting out of the shower and see if they express an interest in seeing more,” she suggests.
The benefits of sexting
While sexting can be awkward at first, Pippa Murphy, sex and relationship expert at Condoms.uk, says this is "massively outweighed by the potential benefits".
"Sexting is actually a powerful tool for building intimacy and connection in a relationship," she adds.
Here are some of the benefits of sexting, according to Murphy:
You'll have better sex in real life. "Sexting can help build excitement and anticipation for physical intimacy, which can in turn lead to more satisfying experiences in person," she says. "When you and your partner engage in sexting, you are building sexual tension and desire that can make the actual physical experience much more fulfilling.
"It can also be a way to explore each other's fantasies and desires, which can lead to a deeper understanding of each other's needs and wants. You'll also find that you're likely to be happier with your sex life in person too; by exploring each other's sexual desires and preferences through sexting, you can better understand what turns your partner on and what they need to feel fulfilled sexually."
Your communication will improve. "Sexting requires you to be clear and specific about what you want and what you're comfortable with, which can improve communication in your relationship. When you share intimate details and desires with your partner, it can help build a sense of trust and vulnerability. It can also encourage you to be more open and honest with each other about your sexual needs and preferences.
Your emotional connection will strengthen. "Sexting can be a way to connect emotionally with your partner. Sharing intimate details and fantasies with your partner can help you feel more connected and can deepen your emotional bond. Sexting can be a way to express affection and love for your partner in a more intimate way too.
"It's also perfect for those in long-distance relationships. Sexting gives couples an excuse to spend some quality time together, even if they're miles apart. It helps them feel closer to each other and gives them something fun to look forward to when they're apart."
The dos and don'ts of sexting
However, as Clancy has found, there are some dos and don’ts when it comes to sexting, including mixing it up and thinking about your partner’s wants. Quinn offers her advice below.
Do think about what your partner wants to receive
“Whilst some people will love a naughty photo, others will prefer written messages, and some will love listening to how aroused their partner is on a voicenote,” Quinn advises.
“Go right in with a sexy picture and you may miss the mark. Give both of you time to build up to full sexting.”
Do get consent
Whether it’s your long-term partner or the new person you’re dating, getting consent before sending a sex is a must.
“No one wants or needs an unsolicited picture, and the law is changing to support this,” Quinn says.
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’
“You can say ‘no’ if you don't feel comfortable continuing,” Quinn says. “Any partner who respects you will be understanding, and won't push you.”
Read more: How to get the spark back in a relationship
Do put safety first
“Before you hit send, double-check that you feel comfortable and trust this person to receive this image.” Bear in mind if you go your separate ways or fall out, they could end up sharing your intimate photo or message elsewhere with potentially devastating results.
Don’t just send an emoji
Despite Crouch’s favourite sexting style, Quinn says that most people will “struggle to find the aubergine emoji a turn-on.”
Do think about what you find sexy
Whether it’s an image or a suggestive message, Quinn says “often the sexiest thing to someone else will be them knowing that you're really turned on”.
Don’t always do the same thing
“Try varying your sexting by switching to a video call when things get heated or investing in long-distance sex toys, where you can remotely control your partner's pleasure.”
Watch: Abbey Clancy wants to spice up sex life with Peter Crouch