Secrets to Sending the Perfect First Message on a Dating App

It’s hard out here in these streets. And these sheets. Whether you’re trying to find a casual encounter, a friend with benefits or something more serious, you’re probably doing it on one (or more!) of the many dating and hookup apps out there. Thirty percent of adults in the United States have used dating apps, and the good bulk of them are Millennials and Gen Zers. When it comes to people's success rates, the numbers can feel daunting. A 2016 study showed that men have a 0.6% match rate on Tinder, whereas women have closer to a 10% match rate. In general, the study found that men (no matter their sexuality) are more likely to be active swipers, and women are more active participants in dating apps. So, if you’re a guy who puts more effort into messaging rather than swiping, you’re already a step ahead of the rest!

But how do you stand out from the crowd? How do you up the chances that your desire-of-the-day will reply when you message them first? That’s where we come in. We asked folks who frequent Tinder and other dating apps what they believe the best practices are when it comes to sending that all-important first message, and here’s what they’ve had to say.

These are 25 DOs and DON'Ts for dating app first messages.

For more on making the most of your dating app experience, check out our guides to writing the ultimate Tinder bio and taking the perfect photo for your profile.