Rocking into parenthood: Malaysian parents insist the show must go on, as they juggle kids and concerts

Malay Mail
Malay Mail

KUALA LUMPUR, September 28 — For many Malaysian parents, Rihanna's Don't Stop The Music appear to ring true.

With so many concerts and live music events happening throughout the country boasting both local and international names catering to a wide demographic — it's hard for any music lover to resist the urge to splurge.

For 36-year-old mother of two, Mya Nabila — an avid concert and gig attendee from young — she still heads out for shows, though less frequently compared to before, only this time with her husband in tow.

Both of them share the same passion for heavy metal and rock music (he's the guitarist of local metal band Bleeding Mascara) and find time to attend concerts especially for their favourite international acts.

“We went to Muse, Sum 41 and the last one, Incubus, together.

“He was supposed to join me for the Bring Me The Horizon concert last August 21 but he couldn’t make it at the last minute due to work commitments, but yeah, I still went without him.

“For now, if we have a concert or event to attend, our helper will be the one who will look after both of our children,” she said.

Mua said she and her husband sneak out for a few hours to attend live shows as both their children aged six and four years old are easier to be taken care of by their helper now.

A mother of two, Mya Nabila and her husband find time to go to concerts especially when it comes to their favourite acts. — Picture courtesy of Mya Nabila
A mother of two, Mya Nabila and her husband find time to go to concerts especially when it comes to their favourite acts. — Picture courtesy of Mya Nabila

A mother of two, Mya Nabila and her husband find time to go to concerts especially when it comes to their favourite acts. — Picture courtesy of Mya Nabila

While in Islam, attending concerts can be considered as Laghw (vain speech and activities), Mya sees no harm in it as long as it is embraced with moderation (including covering ones aurat) and not missing obligatory prayers.

“Most concert venues here, the organisers will include and prepare a Mussollah or prayer tent for Muslim concertgoers to perform their prayers.

“Even during the Muse concert last year, my husband brought along his own ‘kain pelikat’ and prayer mat in his bag.

“So there’s no excuse to miss your solat (prayer) even when you go to concerts,” she said.

Azira Shaharuddin who's a mother of two and a lecturer would often go to concerts with either her husband or her younger sister.— Picture courtesy of Azira Shaharuddin
Azira Shaharuddin who's a mother of two and a lecturer would often go to concerts with either her husband or her younger sister.— Picture courtesy of Azira Shaharuddin

Azira Shaharuddin who's a mother of two and a lecturer would often go to concerts with either her husband or her younger sister.— Picture courtesy of Azira Shaharuddin

For Azira Shaharuddin, a lecturer at a private university in Selangor and a mother of two, it's hard for her to find the time to attend concerts especially when she has to juggle between motherhood, her job and her responsibilities as a wife.

She hasn’t been to a concert for the last 11 years — until British rock band Muse came to KL last year — coincidentally her personal favourite, as well as her husband's.

She said now that her children are older, with the eldest being nine and the youngest being six, she feels itis okay to let loose once in a while.

“As the kids grow older and become more independent, I don’t see the harm in having fun once in a while.

“For me, concerts are my catharsis, to let go of every pent-up feeling!” said Azira.

She sees no harm in bringing along her children to concerts as long as their safety is ensured, and her daughter will be joining the fun to catch Japanese singer Fuji Kaze concert in KL this November.

“We both enjoy his songs, so I just feel this can be the perfect mother-daughter time to have fun and meet the person whose music we dance to.”

Indonesian pop folk band Fourtwnty during their performance at Nusafest 2023 which attracted around 5,000 concertgoers. — Picture by Hari Anggara
Indonesian pop folk band Fourtwnty during their performance at Nusafest 2023 which attracted around 5,000 concertgoers. — Picture by Hari Anggara

Indonesian pop folk band Fourtwnty during their performance at Nusafest 2023 which attracted around 5,000 concertgoers. — Picture by Hari Anggara

Aideed Elhaeqal, 29, who has been a father for almost two years now said that he and his wife have become more selective when it comes to going to live music events since embracing parenthood.

Both he and his wife take a lot of into consideration before attending any concerts these days, especially as their two-year-old son has eczema.

“We are very picky when it comes to concerts or festivals nowadays — unless the line-up is really interesting — only then we will go.

“For now, considering our son’s age and condition, we do not take him with us because we are still not confident in exposing him to huge crowds and we don’t want to disturb his sleeping hours which is usually 8pm or 9pm.

“He will most probably get cranky, and to avoid our son becoming the unintended ‘vocalist’, we usually send him to my mother-in-law, who looks after him whenever we go to concerts,” Aideed said.

He admits the concert experience has changed for him after being a parent, as he would often find himself thinking about his son most of the time.

“Back when we were still dating, everytime we went to a concert, we felt like we didn't want to go home and didn't want it to end.

“But now, most of the time I often ask my wife what my son is up to and I couldn’t wait to go home.”

Despite that, Aideed is not giving up on his favourite pastime and would still like to go to concerts in the future.

He and his wife are currently looking forward to the Indonesian folk pop band Fourtwnty's MYACASA show this November which will be their first concert for this year.