Quotes of the Week: Yellowstone, Cross, Cobra Kai, Abbott Elementary and More
Before you start finalizing your Thanksgiving menu, dig into a cornucopia of the verbal variety with TVLine’s Quotes of the Week.
In the list below, we’ve gathered over a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted and unscripted moments from cable, broadcast and streaming series.
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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Doctor Odyssey, Cobra Kai, St. Denis Medical, Matlock, Bad Sisters, The Voice, Last Week Tonight With John Oliver and more.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: Happy’s Place laments the perils of online dating, Abbott Elementary sings the praises of crayons and Shrinking takes notes from Requiem for a Dream. Plus, we’ve got quotable moments from NCIS: Origins, Three Women, Yellowstone, Lioness, and a double dose of Grey’s Anatomy.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Rebecca Iannucci, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
BAD SISTERS (Episode 2)
“Why’d you lie to the cops? Who lies to the cops?”
“Well, I mean, we do. We lie to the cops.”
Ursula (Eva Birthistle) and Eva (Sharon Horgan) have two different perspectives on Grace’s interaction with the detectives
THE VOICE
“Look, he’s gone. So am I inside. But you know, I’m British. We don’t show our emotions.”
A rendition of “Dance With My Father” leaves Snoop Dogg more obviously emotional than Mega Mentor Sting
YELLOWSTONE
“Hey, you think we could get a picture with the horses?”
“No.”
“You just let that kid pet ’em.”
“Why not us?”
“You do it once, you’re being nice. You do it a second time, and you’re a petting zoo. This ain’t no f—king petting zoo.”
At least Rip (Cole Hauser) let the twenty-something horse lovers down easy
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
“Some kids just like to eat weird stuff. I used to eat crayons. I love the snap.”
Ava (Janelle James) shares a weird fact about herself
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)
“Jacob, I haven’t been this regular in five years. Fix this!”
Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) is angry when Jacob’s protest means a healthy smoothie shop might not take over the local deli
ST. DENIS MEDICAL
“Well, I’m just saying that I, uh, usually don’t date a woman who is as mature… That’s a bad word. No. Um, as seasoned. That’s a better word, right?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah! I mean, I’m not saying you’re worn. I look at you as vibrant. Considering.”
Ron (David Alan Grier) tries — and fails — to delicately tell Barb (Lynn Whitfield) he prefers to date younger women
STYLE ME FOR CHRISTMAS
“Those are a slap in our ancestors’ face. Harriet did not run so you could walk in them.”
Ray’ah (Pretty Vee) insisting her boss, stylist Tiffany (Raven Goodwin), not wear flats to a formal event with their new client, playboy R&B singer Tedee (Mario)
NCIS: ORIGINS
“Oh, I told my grunts to bring the gurney in through the back. [Rethinks her words] They’re not grunts; they’re good kids.”
Dr. Friedman (Lori Petty) gives Lala an update
LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
“I would love to tell you what I’m looking forward to but I cannot seem to find ‘drinking my lights out’ and ‘housing some grief mac-and-cheese’ on your stupid puzzle. Get the f—k out!”
MATLOCK
“I feel so observed.”
“It’s seen.”
Sarah (Leah Lewis) and Billy support Matty’s (Kathy Bates) Big Pharma dream
COBRA KAI (Episode 6)
“Welcome to Barcelona, bitch!”
New baddie Zara (Rayna Vallandingham) quickly establishes herself as one to watch at the international Sekai Taikai tournament
HAPPY’S PLACE
“There are a lot of eligible men… and not a dang one of them has chosen me. You?”
“One. But then he messaged me and said that his finger sometimes spasms so it was a mistake.”
Bobbie (Reba McEntire) and Gabby (Melissa Peterman) have zero luck on the dating apps
LIONESS
“Let me ask you this: Did she volunteer, or did you coerce her?”
“That isn’t an either/or question.”
“Oh it absolutely is an either/or question. Either she volunteered or—”
“She volunteered! With some coercion.”
Byron (Michael Kelly) asks Joe (Zoe Saldaña) exactly how Captain Carrillo came to be a Lioness
DOCTOR ODYSSEY
“You guys, I can’t do it. I just can’t. What happened the other night was wonderful, but it’s not me. Maybe I’m too traditional. Maybe I’m square. I don’t know, but… I am a one-woman man. I want to be in a relationship with one person, who I love, and I want a family. I want children.”
Is anyone going to tell Max (Joshua Jackson) that a throuple seems to fit right in with his life plans? He can be with one woman and one person, both of whom he loves!
SHRINKING
“I’m going through a super empathetic stage because Charlie and I decided that we’re going to have a baby. If it’s a boy, we’re going to name him Peter Bernadette, and if it’s a girl, obviously, Bernadette Peters… Alice, his life is bleak. Like Requiem for a Dream-bleak. And not like the middle part where they’re all enjoying the heroin. The end, when they’re all ass-to-ass and you realize that heroin’s no fun, at all!”
Brian (Michael Urie) delivers a panicked, rapid-fire 60-second-plus monologue about the sad state of Louis’ (Brett Goldstein) life
ELSBETH
“Chef Veev’s a screamer. Jordan always said if he caught her on video, it would make Gordon Ramsay look like Ted Lasso.”
A murder victim’s girlfriend describes the chef at the restaurant where he worked
THREE WOMEN
“Just before my mom died, she asked me to help her Google an old boyfriend.
“Was he fat? I love Googling old boyfriends and seeing how fat they are now.”
“He was rich. She could’ve had a completely different life.”
“But was he fat?”
Gia (Shailene Woodley) tries to share a memory with her doctor who is preoccupied with the idea of overweight ex-boyfriends
GREY’S ANATOMY
“How are her parents?”
“Worried. You’d think being pregnant would make me more sympathetic, but I’m kinda just annoyed their baby’s already out.”
Treating a newborn with Levi (Jake Borelli) brings out a different kind of maternal instinct in Jo (Camilla Luddington)
GREY’S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)
“‘For the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and of a sound mind’ — second Timothy.”
“Is it wrong that I think it’s hot when you quote Bible verses?”
Pillow talk becomes a religious experience when Levi is with James (Michael Thomas Grant)
FRASIER
“If I can get my hands on a beekeeper’s outfit, and you can learn sign language… I think we can get Olivia married.”
Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) hatches an absurd new scheme for meddling with his son Freddy
HOT FROSTY
“Morty went out without his glasses, couldn’t get a clear view.”
“And Ethel?”
“She wouldn’t say. Just kept insisting that he was doing a public service.”
Deputy Ed (Joe Lo Truglio) explaining to Sheriff Nathan (Craig Robinson) why an elderly couple who witnessed a streaker couldn’t provide a description of the naked (snow)man
GHOSTS
“In the cult, she would have been a Top Five wife for Bruce, for sure, which means she would have gotten carrots with dinner.”
“Carrots should be for everybody.”
“Oh, Pete. Bruce warned us about people like you.”
Flower (Sheila Carrasco) and Pete (Richie Moriarty) check out the attractive member of an acting troupe
CROSS (Episode 4)
“You know I can tell where we are based on the turns you’ve made since we started, right? And the rate of speed, and the seconds of waiting time….”
“Are you serious?”
“Nope. But it’s nice to know you think I’m that good.”
Elle (Samantha Walkes) drives a blindfolded Alex (Aldis Hodge) to a surprise destination
CROSS (Episode 5)
[GPS says, “Continue straight for 73 miles”]
“You have got to be s–ting me.”
John (Isaiah Mustafa) is none too fond of being dispatched to follow a lead in Indiana
FIRE COUNTRY
“I can’t help you, because I need to get these juices to people who are a different kind of thirsty.”
A displaced pair of airplane passengers ask Eve (Jules Latimer) if there’s a private room, or even storage closet, for them to… occupy
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