Quotes of the Week: Only Murders, Agatha All Along, Frasier and More
TV’s biggest night has come and gone, but TVLine is continuing to celebrate the small screen with our Quotes of the Week compilation.
In the list below, we’ve gathered nearly two dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted and unscripted moments from cable, broadcast and streaming series.
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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Frasier, Only Murders in the Building, The Daily Show, Three Women, Tulsa King, The Golden Bachelorette, Power Book II: Ghost and more.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: George Clooney makes a deal on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Late Night With Seth Meyers concocts a Tim Walz-themed ice cream flavor, and Emily in Paris honors the cinematic masterpiece that is The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Plus, we’ve got a double dose of Agatha All Along, and an American Horror Story admission from Kathy Bates at the Emmys.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Rebecca Iannucci, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
EMILY IN PARIS (Episode 9)
“France is for food. Italy is for sex.”
“I do not get on a plane for that!”
Mindy (Ashley Park) encourages Emily (Lily Collins) to go visit Marcello in Rome
EMILY IN PARIS (Episode 9 Bonus Quote!)
“I’ve seen so much of the city in the movies, I feel like I’ve been here already.”
“You mean like La Dolce Vita?”
“I was thinking more like The Lizzie McGuire Movie.”
Emily’s (Lily Collins) Rome movie references skew more toward the Disney variety
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“Ben & Jerry’s has announced a new ice cream flavor inspired by Vice President Kamala Harris called Kamala’s Coconut Jubilee, and one inspired by Tim Walz called Plain.”
THE CHALLENGE 40: BATTLE OF THE ERAS
“Tonight you’re playing, ‘Getting Hammered.’”
“Oh, I did that last night!”
Tina Bridges apparently had a smashing time while filming the season in Vietnam
MONSTERS: THE LYLE AND ERIK MENENDEZ STORY (Episode 1)
“All these cases [of parricide] are different, but most involve aggravating circumstances.”
“Yeah, well, they were really aggravating.”
Dr. Oziel (Dallas Roberts) suggests an excuse for Erik (Cooper Koch) and brother Lyle murdering their parents
TULSA KING
“I’m not that twisted.”
“I’ve seen you shove a guy’s head through a bullhorn and blast his face off. You’re a little twisted, man.”
Dwight (Sylvester Stallone) objects — and Tyson (Jay Will) counters — when they talk about how he’s not going to kill Stacy for turning him in to the feds
AGATHA ALL ALONG (Episode 1)
“I guess I could run the book title… Dialogue and Rhetoric: Known History of Learning and Debate by Andrew Ugo.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking erotic thriller?”
Like any compelling TV detective, “Agnes” (Kathryn Hahn) is quick with a comeback for librarian Dottie (Emma Caulfield Ford)
AGATHA ALL ALONG (Episode 2)
“I haven’t been convicted of anything.”
“Yet. Historically, we as a group don’t do well in courtrooms.”
Need embattled business owner/disgraced witch Jennifer (Sasheer Zamata) be reminded of what happened in Salem?
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!
“This was definitely not the morning you wanted to wake up feeling like P. Diddy…. His lawyer said he’s going to clear his name and… he’s got a lot of them to clear.”
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! (Bonus Quote!)
“You know what? I will if he does.”
TV’s erstwhile Doug Ross promises to return to the small screen if the former Celebrity Apprentice host agrees to do the same
THE DAILY SHOW
“I think Trump needs to stick to racism. It’s less divisive.”
DANCING WITH THE STARS
“That’s an 18 out of 30 for Anna and Ezra. How are you feeling, Anna?”
“I feel happy that I don’t have to do this dance again.”
Uh… what does Anna Delvey think she’ll be expected to do if she actually stays in the competition another week?
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING
“Don’t worry… I’ll finish ’em off. Time to introduce ’em to Bono… and The Edge.”
It’s only fitting that Glen Stubbins (Paul Rudd) names his fists after Irish music royalty
THE GOLDEN BACHELORETTE
“There’s a lot of testosterone in this room. But not as much as there would’ve been 40 years ago.”
Jack acknowledges a hard truth about aging as he surveys his competition for Joan’s heart
FRASIER
“You like opera?”
“I sure don’t. But I worked the bar at the opera and sometimes that stuff just jimmies and burrows its way in.”
Legendary sitcom director Jimmy Burrows gets a shout-out of sorts from fellow sitcom icon Patricia Heaton
THREE WOMEN
“I just want you to know, I wasn’t in any pain that night. And, like, my whole life is pain. I have pain in my joints, and I have pain inside — I have pain all over me! I’m not in any pain when I’m with that man. So, you can all judge me. Until you’ve felt what I’ve felt, I really don’t give a flying f—k what y’all think! What the f—k is this stupid group anyway?”
After sharing details of her affair, Lina (Betty Gilpin) fires back at the judgmental reaction from her women’s group
POWER BOOK II: GHOST
“So this Noma, she plays in the majors, yeah?”
“Which means you’ll have plenty on your hands, trying to keep that bitch under control.”
“So that’s what you’re worried about? My work-life balance, Monet?”
Carter (Michael Ealy) knows Monet (Mary J. Blige) has an ulterior motive in helping him out
BAD MONKEY
“You know, you have the most punchable face I’ve ever seen not on a golf course.”
Yancy (Vince Vaughn) doesn’t like golfers much, but he likes the realtor next door Evan (Alex Moffat) even less
76TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS
“My American Horror Story was forgetting to thank Ryan Murphy after winning my Emmy.”
“TV Villain” Kathy Bates shares a past misery
SNOWPIERCER
“…the nurture part you got from Joseph Wilford. But the nature, that you inherited from me.”
“Both such sane people.”
Nima (Michael Aronov) gives Alex (Rowan Blanchard) a little “pop” quiz
ENGLISH TEACHER
“This gun stuff… I’m serious. Like, you, me, all these kids, we could be dead right now. 34 years old. That would be it.”
“Yeah, I switched to saying I’m 32 recently. But yeah.”
Gwen (Stephanie Koenig) is just as concerned about gun violence as Evan (Brian Jordan Alvarez) is, but she wants to clarify something about her age first
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