Quotes of the Week: Magnum P.I., AGT, Reacher, Real Housewives and More
New year, same exact appreciation for TV’s best dialogue!
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Indeed, our Quotes of the Week column is back for 2024, and the list below features more than a dozen sound bites from the past seven days of television, including moments both scripted and unscripted. (We’ve even time-traveled a bit, bringing at least one quote from the final hours of 2023.)
This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Reacher, America’s Got Talent: Fantasy League, Good Trouble, WWE Raw and The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City‘s instantly iconic Season 4 finale. Plus, this week’s roundup includes double doses of Magnum P.I.‘s series finale and Monarch: Legacy of Monsters.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Matt Webb Mitovich, Charlie Mason, Andy Swift, Vlada Gelman, Ryan Schwartz and Keisha Hatchett)
REACHER
“I can’t believe people actually play these things.”
“You should try one. You’d like a first-person shooter.”
“I am a first-person shooter.”
Man, as soon as Neagley (Maria Sten) said that, you had to predict Reacher’s (Alan Ritchson) response
REACHER (Bonus Quote!)
“Shot at by a hitman and almost blown up. To put it mildly, I’ve got some pent-up tension. I know you’ve got this rule, ‘Sleep when you can,’ but….”
“It’s not that firm of a rule.”
Dixon (Serinda Swan) crashes Reacher’s (Alan Ritchson) between-brawls catnap
GENERAL HOSPITAL
“‘The ’gram’? Oh, yes, of course. I have gone this long without succumbing to social media. Best I start now!”
“That’s the spirit!”
“I was being facetious.”
“So was I.”
Brook Lynn (Amanda Setton) knows better than to expect a photo dump from grandma Tracy (Jane Elliot) anytime soon
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT: FANTASY LEAGUE
“I stood there, I didn’t sing… I felt like a Spice Girl.”
Simon Cowell couldn’t resist taking a cheap shot at fellow judge Mel B, just like she couldn’t resist tossing her drink in his face
MONARCH: LEGACY OF MONSTERS (Episode 8)
“Sure. Why not. I always thought Goonies needed a sequel.”
Monarch head honcho Natalia (Mirelly Taylor) agrees to let Cate, May and Kentaro join the Kazakhstan mission
MONARCH: LEGACY OF MONSTERS (Episode 9)
“Go to Hell! [Bill laughs]”
“Don’t mind if I do.”
Bill (Anders Holm) and Lee (Wyatt Russell) share a laugh at the abyss into which the latter is about to plummet
DICK CLARK’S NEW YEAR’S ROCKIN’ EVE WITH RYAN SEACREST
“Clark is everybody’s favorite d—k type.”
Do you think Sabrina Carpenter knows that Dick Clark has been dead for 12 years?
GOOD TROUBLE
“Uh, we’re not back together.”
“OK, Monica and Chandler.”
Malika (Zuri Adele) insists to Kelly (Anastasia Leddick) that she and Isaac are just friends
EXTENDED FAMILY
“Maybe if you had followed protocol, you would have been made aware of the height chart during one of my many filibusters. But no, you went rogue. Your own little January 7th.”
“You mean January 6th.”
“No, January 7th, the day they repainted.”
Jim (Jon Cryer) offers a history lesson whilst scolding Trey (Donald Faison) for repainting the master bedroom
WWE RAW
“When The Rock goes out to get something to eat tonight in San Diego, should The Rock sit in a booth, or should The Rock sit at the bar? Or should The Rock sit at the head of the table?”
The Rock, calling out Roman Reigns during the first Raw of 2024. Are they about to tussle?
MAGNUM P.I.
“I… might have kept tabs on Halia after she ended things.”
“You’re basically saying you were stalking her.”
“No. I just parked my car outside of her house every now and then.”
“You do hear yourself, right?”
Thomas (Jay Hernandez) and Juliet grill a POI
MAGNUM P.I. (Bonus Quote!)
“No labs. You also can’t take anything with you.”
“Could you possibly make this job any harder?”
“And you only have 20 minutes in here.”
“You had to say something.”
Juliet (Perdita Weeks) and Thomas (Jay Hernandez) are given strict rules by Bedrosian’s goon
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
“Even Gossip Girl couldn’t stay Gossip Girl forever.”
If this is one of the last things Monica Garcia ever says as a Real Housewives cast member, at least it was iconic
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