Quotes of the Week: Fellow Travelers, NCIS: Sydney, The Voice, SNL and More
You didn’t think we’d let a Sunday go by without sharing our favorite Quotes of the Week, did you?
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In the list below, we’ve gathered nearly 20 of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Fellow Travelers, Family Guy, All Rise and The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, plus a Weekend Update punchline from Saturday Night Live that actually isn’t as much of a joke as you might think.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Magnum P.I. and The Voice, plus quotable moments from NCIS: Sydney, The Simpsons and more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
“When Mary invited me to see where she lives, there was no question. Grandpa Joe gets out of bed for two reasons: Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and Mary Cosby’s house tour.”
Honestly, we’ve never related to (or been more jealous of) Heather Gay until this very moment
MAGNUM P.I.
“That guy just totally checked you out! I guess he’s into chicks.”
“Please don’t.”
“But does he know you’re not single? Yolk’s on him.”
“One more chicken pun, Thomas, and I will be.”
Thomas (Jay Hernandez) playfully ruffles undercover Juliet’s (Perdita Weeks) feathers
MAGNUM P.I. (Bonus Quote!)
“Look at us! Mustache twins! Now all we gotta do is get Magnum to grow one.”
“Think he could pull it off?”
[Together] “Nah!”
Rick (Zachary Knighton) and T.C. (Stephen Hill) make a nod to TV’s other, more hirsute Magnum
NCIS: SYDNEY
“See, I came here in a Kia. You came here in that.”
The differences between JD (Todd Lasance) and Mackey go beyond her matching NCIS cap and t-shirt
AEW DYNAMITE
“The old me in this situation would have tucked his tail and ran. But you know what? I’m about done letting my past dictate my future and my present. So yeah, I’m afraid, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to quit.”
MJF, getting real on the mic about his fears ahead of his upcoming AEW World Championship match against Jay White
MONARCH: LEGACY OF MONSTERS (Episode 1)
“These things think the A in A-bomb stands for appetizer.”
Lee (Wyatt Russell) has a theory why detected radiation spikes seem to be quickly gobbled up
EXMAS
“Okay, I’d hit that.”
“What?”
“I said I would hit that.”
“No. Do you know what that means?”
“Putting an end to something. I’m putting an end to this conversation.”
Mom Jeannie (Kathryn Greenwood), trying to referee a fight
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
“Insiders are concerned that President Biden’s chances for re-election could be damaged by his unwavering support for Israel. But I think the bigger problem for Biden is that he is six years older than Israel!”
Yes, it’s true — the math maths!
THE SIMPSONS
“Mr. Flanders is generous. I’ve sold him so many magazine subscriptions. But why Cat Fancy? His cat isn’t even that fancy.”
We didn’t even know Flanders had a cat, and thanks to Lisa (voiced by Yeardley Smith), we now know too much
THE VOICE
“Enjoy yourself because I’m a Judd, not a judge.”
Mega Mentor Wynonna Judd encourages a contestant to chillax during rehearsal
THE VOICE (Bonus Quote!)
“He’s slick as snot on a doorknob.”
Team John Legend’s Mac Royals earns (we think) high praise from Wynonna Judd
FAMILY GUY
“Wow, Peter, I’ve never seen Lois so upset. It looks like you’re in — and I find this phrase offensive — the doghouse.”
It’s always fun when Family Guy chooses to remind its audience that Brian (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) is, in fact, a dog
QUANTUM LEAP
“You think your whole life’s ahead of you and then 50 years later, someone else is sitting under the same tree thinking the exact same thing. Our future is just someone else’s past, isn’t it?”
Tom (Peter Gadiot) remembering his wife while watching the initials they used to admire together being carved into a tree is a serious emotional gut punch
ALL RISE
“What kind of honeymoon? Can we afford honeymooning?”
“You’ll figure that out.”
“I think we did. You just can’t go. You’re just gonna — There’s a Holiday Inn up the street.”
After Andre hits their firm with a big bill, Rachel (Ryan Michelle Bathe) suggests Amy (Lindsey Gort) change her post-wedding plans
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“I was so obsessed with [the movie Pretty in Pink] that as an adult, during the pandemic, I dressed up like James Spader’s character, Steff. Now, you might be thinking, ‘Was that for Halloween?’ Uh-uh. It was in August, and it was because I lost my f—king mind.”
DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
“What if I told you I’m just hanging out, you know, doing an impersonation of a bat, if the bat was Prince.”
Nick aka Santa (Lil Rel Howery), explaining why he’s stuck upside down in a chimney
FELLOW TRAVELERS
“They’re going to ask you questions about your private activities. In detail.”
“I hope they scheduled several hours for that.”
Mary (Erin Neufer) warns Hawk (Matt Bomer) about a polygraph test
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