Quotes of the Week: Elsbeth, The Voice, NCIS: Hawai’i, Shōgun and More

One thing is clear from looking at our latest Quotes of the Week compilation: It was a very quotable few days for CBS’ programming.

In the list below — which features our picks for TV’s most memorable sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find no fewer than five CBS series represented, including Elsbeth, NCIS, NCIS: Hawai’i, FBI and a double dose from Ghosts.

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But that’s not all! Elsewhere in this week’s roundup, you’ll also find bon mots and zingers from The Voice, Shōgun, Mary & George and The Girls on the Bus — not to mention references to Grey’s Anatomy, Thelma & Louise, Star Wars and Spies Like Us.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Vlada Gelman, Charlie Mason and Matt Webb Mitovich)

THE VOICE

THE VOICE
THE VOICE

“We got Rock Star Ken up here.”

John Legend nails contestant Bryan Olesen’s look

FBI

FBI
FBI

“Alright, folks, this is Travis Keating, a young man who claims he has ‘earned his way into paradise.’ What that means, I have no idea.”

Jubal (Jeremy Sisto) relays new intel on their cult member POI

NCIS

NCIS
NCIS

“I don’t suppose you have any kind of medical training?”

“No. But I watch Grey’s Anatomy.”

“And Spies Like Us, apparently – ‘Dr. Trowbridge.’”

“Oh! You recognized that reference!”

Dr. Logan (Christina Kirk) sees no good prognosis for Parker’s (Gary Cole) plan to pose as a heart surgeon

THE GIRLS ON THE BUS

THE GIRLS ON THE BUS
THE GIRLS ON THE BUS

“You have been getting laid this entire time and you’re still this tense?!”

Lola (Natasha Behnam) is stunned when Sadie reveals she’s pregnant

THE GIRLS ON THE BUS (Bonus Quote!)

THE GIRLS ON THE BUS (Bonus Quote!)
THE GIRLS ON THE BUS (Bonus Quote!)

“I live for the happy ending! Two women falling in love, riding off into the sunset together. So good! [Beat as her friends look on, confused] What?”

“Sweetie, that is not what happens.”

Lola (Natasha Behnam) is informed by Kimberlyn (Christina Elmore) that she’s misinterpreted Thelma & Louise

NCIS: HAWAI’I

NCIS: HAWAI’I
NCIS: HAWAI’I

“You forced me to call in favors from folks you don’t want to owe.”

“Underworld types?”

“Worse. Air Force pilots.”

Navy SEAL Sam (LL Cool J) did the unthinkable to find Ernie (Jason Antoon) a rare essential oil

SHŌGUN

SHŌGUN
SHŌGUN

If I could use words, like scattering flowers and falling leaves, what a bonfire my poems would make.

“Those words are too beautiful to belong to you.”

“They belong to Lady Mariko. Only her words remain with us now. But what a bonfire she made.”

Lord Toranaga (Hiroyuki Sanada) pays fitting tribute to his fallen vassal

ELSBETH

ELSBETH
ELSBETH

“Aren’t you a defense attorney?”

“Yes.”

“Then you know that only hard evidence holds up in court. Not gut feelings from women who wear polka dots over the age of 15.”

The Disbelieving Lead Detective of the Week (Micaela Diamond) cops an attitude with Elsbeth (Carrie Preston)

GHOSTS

GHOSTS
GHOSTS

“This is a game changer! You can go anywhere. Pizza Hut! Domino’s!”

Sas (Román Zaragoza), a lover of food scents, reacts to the reveal that Pete’s power allows him to travel beyond the Woodstone premises

GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)

GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)
GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)

“[Screams] What are you?! Stop following me! Stop following me, you R2-D2 from Hell!”

Pete (Richie Moriarty) encounters a food delivery robot for the first time

MARY & GEORGE

MARY & GEORGE
MARY & GEORGE

“So where have you taken her? Tell us and we can get this done civilly and with a modicum of fuss.”

“Oh, really do get f—ked.

“No, I really will get Frances.”

Mary (Julianne Moore) and Lady Hatton (Nicola Walker) face off as the latter tries to keep her daughter from having to wed Mary’s son, John

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