Pregnant Woman Accuses Spouse of Being Insensitive When He Won't Agree to Naming Baby After Her Late Husband
The widow wanted to honor that time in her life, but her current husband didn't feel it was appropriate
Before the original poster (OP) and his wife married, she was married to her high school sweetheart, who died in an accident
The couple, now expecting their first baby together, found out they are having a boy
OP's wife is accusing him of being insensitive for not letting one of their son's names honor her late ex
A dad-to-be has taken to Reddit since bumping heads with his wife over naming their firstborn.
The original poster (OP) and his wife are expecting their first baby. OP's wife has been married before, which is where their conflict arises.
"Before my wife, Anna (30f) and I (30m) got together, she was previously married to Caleb. They were high school sweethearts, got married at 20, and when they were 23, he was hit by a drunk driver and passed," OP wrote.
After five years together and two years married, OP was surprised when the name Caleb was brought up as they discussed names for their son.
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"We are going to have a son very soon and we have agreed on a first name. However, she wants his middle name to be Caleb, after her late husband," he explained.
"I told her I am uncomfortable with this as she is married to me now, and we should not be naming our kid after a previous partner that she had," OP wrote.
"She said that Caleb was a very large part of her life and she isn't going to budge with that middle name. She said that since our son is going to have my last name, she should be able to choose the middle name.
"We have come to an impasse and cannot agree with this. She is calling me insensitive and that I knew how important Caleb is to her," he concluded, asking if he was in the wrong.
Commenters agreed that OP wasn't wrong for being uncomfortable with the idea.
"There's a billion baby names to choose from. There's also a billion ways for her to honor her first husband. She does not need to combine these two activities," one commenter wrote.
Another commenter pointed out that while OP doesn't have to be on board with his wife's idea, he can still be sensitive to her grief.
"She's probably feeling a lot of emotions coming back up, excitement and joy, but also guilt and grief knowing she's having a child when he never got the chance to and she's so excited about it," they wrote.
"It doesn't mean she loves you less or wants to pretend it's his kid or anything like that. She's feeling the urge to affirm she didn't forget him and the life they had because she is moving on — with you."
While the commenter ultimately agreed with OP, they added, "But, you are the husband of a widow. Grief is complex and a lot of the time it's not all that rational. You aren't an a------ for not wanting to give your kid his name, but you should be empathetic as to why she's stuck on this."
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