The pins and needles in my arm turned out to be multiple sclerosis

Elise Clayton, 44, lives in Lancashire with her son Charlie, 10, and works as a clinical hypnotherapist and transformational coach. Here she shares the strange symptoms that eventually led to a life-changing diagnosis.

On a weekend away in Scotland in March 2015 to celebrate my now ex-husband’s birthday, I suddenly experienced horrendous pins and needles in both arms as I lay on the bed, feeling tired after swimming in the hotel pool.

They were accompanied by shooting pains and however much I shook my arms and balled my fists – the usual things you’d do to get the circulation going – they didn’t subside. Throughout the weekend, they came in intense waves, causing me to panic.

At the time, I was on maternity leave from my high pressure, 20-year career in PR, marketing and advertising, and had been feeling burnt out and chronically stressed by the time I’d left to have my son Charlie in 2013.

Back home after our weekend away, I immediately saw my doctor. He reasoned that as I’d used the gym and pool in the hotel over the weekend and done lots of walking, I’d likely trapped a nerve. It made sense and I booked an appointment with a sports masseur who’d been recommended to me in the hope he could solve the problem.

Unfortunately, nothing changed. The coming months were blighted by constant pins, needles and shooting pains, as well as numbness in my fingers which meant I struggled to do up the tiny buttons on Charlie’s clothes.

Strange symptoms

I remember standing in the shower crying uncontrollably, wondering how on earth I could carry on with this overwhelming, painful and highly unpleasant sensation in my arms.

Things got worse when I woke one morning around four months after my first episode of pins and needles and the vision in my left eye was dimmed, as if I was wearing sunglasses. Though I’d previously suffered with migraines, this was different and felt very disorientating as I tried to get out of bed.

However, adamant that it was a migraine, my GP sent me away with medication which I took religiously for a few weeks. Nothing changed.

For another two years, I went back and forth to different doctors with crippling tiredness and various weird sensory symptoms including a feeling of water flowing down my back, itching on my nose and a sensation that my tongue was burnt. I also experienced periods of confusion when I’d struggle to find words, and had cramps in my legs that were as excruciating as childbirth.

A diagnosis at last

During that time I tried massage, acupuncture and reiki, and had osteopathy twice a week. I also turned to Google, knowing that I shouldn’t but feeling desperate for answers. As well as the serious medical conditions lupus and fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis (MS) kept cropping up and I could relate to so many of the symptoms.

Eventually, fraught with anxiety, I saw the lead GP at my surgery. He was sympathetic and noticed that my left pupil reacts differently to light than my right and diagnosed optic neurosis – yet another symptom of MS. He referred me for further investigations.

Finally, after two MRI scans and a lumbar puncture, I received an official diagnosis of MS in March 2017 from the same neurologist who’d sent me away twice before with a migraine diagnosis. Even after the scans he was dismissive, telling me at first that it was 'likely' I had MS, but as I’d only had one attack it could be something else.

At this point, I began to question him about the array of other symptoms I’d experienced over the past two years, prompting him to check my medical records and finally tell me, "Okay, well, yes, then you have the diagnosis of MS..."

The second scan had detected lesions on my brain and spine, likely caused by MS attacks, so I was sent for a lumbar puncture, which confirmed a detailed diagnosis of what’s known as 'relapsing remitting MS'. While MS is a condition where the immune system attacks the nervous system, ‘relapsing remitting’ means that you will experience periods of 'wellness' (albeit still with the symptoms you have from previous flare-ups), interspersed with more intense MS attacks.

Fears over memory loss and slurred speech

Getting a diagnosis was a relief in some ways, as it finally confirmed that I’d been right all along and there really was something wrong with me – it wasn’t just a migraine or 'all in my head' as some of the medics had implied. But after the initial relief, I went through all-consuming waves of fear, pain, anxiety and feeling completely overwhelmed as to what this meant for my future.

Far from coming up with a treatment plan, the consultant told me to 'go away and decide what drugs you want to take' referring me to the MS Trust charity website to do my research. As anyone with a chronic health condition will know, the hardest thing after a diagnosis is wondering where to start, especially at a time when you feel so low.

The MS Trust became my lifeline as I spent weeks poring over the different drugs and the horrendous potential side effects each of them carried including brain disease and even death. Injections were available with less side effects but wouldn’t be as effective.

But I couldn’t risk another MS attack because each one leaves damage on your body. For example, I might have an attack on my spine that would leave me in a wheelchair, or on my eyes again and I could go blind.

Attacks can also cause slurred speech and memory loss so rather than risk that happening when I was out with Charlie and people assuming I was a dreadful, drunk mother, I became reclusive. What would happen, I wondered, if I was carrying Charlie or crossing a road with him in his pushchair and I collapsed?

Controlling symptoms

I’d already had an incident when excruciating pain in my sides forced me to sit on the pavement while walking him in the pushchair to a toddler group.

Ultimately, I decided to take a drug called Tecfidera, the most powerful available at the time (with possible side effects including liver and kidney failure). I wanted to get my MS under control and to overcome these constant fears of suffering a relapse.

It was hard to know whether the drugs were working or not, as they don't 'fix' the symptoms, they are technically there just to delay you having further attacks.

But as I began to feel better, I longed to have a purpose again. Returning to my career in PR and advertising was unthinkable as I wouldn’t have been able to cope with the endless pressure of meetings, deadlines and multitasking. My husband was understanding and said we’d 'manage' but quickly became very controlling with money. I hated relying on him.

Changing my life

Then, one day in 2018 when Charlie was at nursery, I was scrolling Facebook and spotted another lady with MS doing makeup live online. It was so inspiring and looked fun. I messaged her and she told me she was working in network marketing and I should try it. It sounded like the positive focus I needed so I signed up.

It proved to be the turning point because the company I worked for advocated personal development and encouraged me to devour podcasts, books and YouTube videos from experts in the power of the mind to heal ourselves, such as Marisa Peer, Joe Dispenza and Eckhart Tolle.

Feeling more positive, I turned again to alternative therapies including reiki and energy healing – it’s easy to label them as woo-woo, but my wellbeing improved. Throughout everything, Charlie was my motivation. I’d look at his gorgeous face, beaming at me as he ran out of nursery each afternoon and knew I couldn’t allow my MS to be a burden on him as well.

In 2019, I summoned the courage to leave my toxic marriage and my energy levels soared. I then went for a rapid transformational therapy session – a supercharged version of hypnotherapy – which showed me that MS came into my life to make me realise that I’d got stuck in a spiral of anxiety in my high-pressured career before I had Charlie. It taught me a lesson about the importance of not repressing emotions.

That was the point at which I decided that MS had held me back for too long and I began training with Marisa Peer, fulfilling the dream to become a therapist that I’d first had 20 years earlier when I graduated from uni with a degree in psychology.

A positive mindset

Now, seven years on from my diagnosis, my life has vastly improved. I have a new career where I split my time between my own busy hypnotherapy practice and working with Marisa, using my experience to help others with chronic health conditions.

My illness has taught me to show gratitude for everything instead of being the negative, stressed Elise of old. I teach Charlie that if he’s worried or upset about something he must get it out and never repress his emotions.

He’s a wonderful, football-obsessed little boy and the best thing of all is that I now have the energy to kick a ball around the garden or park with him. I even learnt to drive two years ago and it’s given us such freedom, with day trips to trampoline parks and the beach.

My last MRI in 2021 actually showed an improvement in the existing lesions and I really do believe that I helped to heal myself because I made a 'choice' to get well. My neurologist has invited me to speak to people at his clinic about making simple changes to improve their own lives. Though I still take Tecfidera, it’s a reduced dosage and I no longer say that I have MS. Although technically it's still on my medical records, I no longer have any symptoms or attacks.

Once I'd decided that MS wouldn’t take over my life, it gave me back my power. Of course, it takes much more than simply being positive to overcome a chronic health condition. But having an upbeat mindset was certainly the first step to turning my life and health around for the better.

I am now on a mission to help people like me overcome their struggles, manage their conditions and live the best life that they can.

See Makeupyourmindset.net

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