“NY Post” columnist brags that she's 'alive, bitch!' after Martha Stewart trashed her in Netflix doc

"She's dead now, thank goodness," Stewart said of a columnist who covered her 2004 trial. Andrea Peyser, who's alive, says that's her.

The dead have risen and the dead speak!

Stranger things have happened in Martha Stewart's career. After the lifestyle mogul celebrated the death of a New York Post columnist who covered her 2004 trial in Netflix documentary Martha, that — very much alive — reporter is speaking out.

"New York Post lady was there, just looking so smug. She had written horrible things during the entire trial. But she's dead now, thank goodness," Stewart mused in the doc. But on Thursday, Andrea Peyser stepped forward in a new Post article to identify herself as said lady, declaring, "I’m alive, bitch!"

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Peyser then doubled, even tripled, down on her biting criticisms of the domestic doyenne.

"It’s been 20 years since Martha Stewart traded her Manolo stilettos for ballet flats," Peyser wrote, "her 1,000-thread-count Egyptian cotton bedsheets for a lumpy, polyester blend-covered bunk bed - the bottom half, she moaned - as she became the most fabulous and furious inmate ever to grace Club Fed... Two decades later, she’s still fantasizing about (plotting?) my grisly demise."

Stewart never actually identified Peyser by name in Martha. During the segment covering her 2004 conspiracy and obstruction of justice trial stemming from an insider trading scandal, Stewart remarked that the columnist was "dead now" so "nobody has to put up with that crap she was writing all the time."

Representatives for Stewart, Netflix, and Martha director R.J. Cutler have not responded to Entertainment Weekly's request for confirmation.

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Peyser has worked for the New York Post since 1989, meaning her extravagantly scathing rhetorical stylings were well known by the time of Stewart's trial. Though multiple reporters from the Post authored dispatches from the highly publicized proceeding, Peyser's byline emblazoned the lion's share, as she was only too happy to demonstrate in today's correction to Stewart's claim.

But it's not just that Peyser wrote, for instance, the Post cover story announcing the guilty verdict in Stewart's trial, which featured a full-page image of Stewart's face, set in a hard, inscrutable scowl. The "weeks of Post columns" she wrote included excerpts like the following, from Jan. 21, 2004's "FACE TO FACE WITH THE ICE QUEEN OF CONTROL."

"Martha Stewart, tall, tousle-haired, expensively but casually dressed – a tad too casually for someone facing jail – kept her appointment with the law. She sailed into the federal courthouse like some aging supermodel, waving to the two lonely fans who came out to see her, tossing that highlighted mane and toting two satchels, including a jam-packed Hermes Birkin bag. These things sell for thousands – tens of thousands."

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"News of my passing came as a shock," Peyser continued in the Post. "Should I be scared about continuing to write that 'crap?'" But "rather than feeling angry or worried that Martha has offed me, or to seek an emergency order of protection," Peyser said she is "overwhelmingly sad in the face of Martha’s bitterness."

Stewart chose not to speak liberally about her trial in Martha. She celebrated the imagined demise of the unnamed Post columnist, suggested the prosecutors who mounted the case against her should be "put in a Cuisinart," and shared that former friend Mariana Pasternak's testimony against her "made me very sad."

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But she appeared visibly eager to downplay the impact of the trial and resulting conviction on her life, even joking that the daytime show she hosted following her five-month stint at West Virginia's Alderson Federal Prison Camp was "more like prison" than the actual prison time.

After Martha premiered on Netflix on Oct. 30, Stewart criticized the treatment of her trial in the doc. "It was not that important. The trial and the actual incarceration was less than two years out of an 83-year life," she said. "The trial itself was extremely boring. Even the judge fell asleep. R.J. didn't even put that in. The judge was asleep at the bench. I wrote it in my diary every day."

Martha is currently streaming on Netflix.