Nicole Kidman's Divorce From Tom Cruise Influenced This Oscar-Winning Performance

“[My emotions] have to be coming out in some way.”

It's only natural that actors bring some of their personal life to their characters on screen. And such was the case for Nicole Kidman back in 2001 during her divorce from Tom Cruise. In a new interview with GQ, Kidman admitted that what she was going through at the time subconsciously infiltrated her work as an actress.

“That’s otherworldly stuff. I think that [was] my youth speaking,” she told the outlet. At the time, Kidman was filming The Hours, for which she took home an Oscar in 2003. “The subconscious and the subliminal is a weird thing.”

“It’s all there, everything is there,” Kidman said of allowing her real life to trickle into her work. “[My emotions] have to be coming out in some way.”

She did, however, shut down a rumor regarding her divorce elsewhere in the interview. Kidman was asked about the viral—and iconic—meme of her in the pink top with her arms out to the side. The photo has long been believed to have been captured as she left her lawyers office after signing the papers, but, Kidman clarified to GQ that the photo was actually taken of her in character on set.

“That’s not true,” she said of the anecdote that goes along with the photo.

“That was not me; that was from a film, that wasn’t real life," she explained. "I know that image!”

Kidman is happily married to husband Keith Urban, with whom she shares two daughters Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, however, Kidman has recently reflected on "struggling" during her 2001 divorce.

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well,” she told Dave Karger for his book 50 Oscar Nights, which hit shelves earlier this year. “That’s what happens, right?”

She even got emotional on stage when accepting the Oscar for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. She recalled wanting to go home after the ceremony, however decided to attend the after-party after being encouraged by peers. In hindsight, the actress admitted she wishes she had enjoyed the moment more. After the Vanity Fair party, Kidman returned to her hotel room, where she realized that she wanted to find love again.

“I went home and ended up ordering takeout and eating it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel," she added. "I sat on the floor of the hotel eating French fries and a burger with my family and went to bed. That’s when it hit me. I went, I need to find my love; I need a love in my life. Because this is supposed to be when you go, ‘This is ours.’”