Nick Lachey Reveals His Secret to Keeping the Spark Alive with Wife Vanessa Lachey: 'Make It Deliberate' (Exclusive)
"There's nothing more important in our lives, or in life, than your children. But you also have to always honor and respect and prioritize the relationship that got you those kids," Nick Lachey tells PEOPLE
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Nick Lachey and Vanessa LacheyWith three children under their roof and busy careers in Hollywood, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey know prioritizing their relationship is a must. But thankfully, the two have mastered the art of keeping their spark alive — and Nick has no shame about what it entails.
"Sometimes you have to be deliberate. You have to make deliberate attempts because the spontaneity, the romance, whatever you want to call it that existed pre-kids, it just can't exist the same way," he tells PEOPLE in a recent interview while promoting season 2 of Perfect Match. "And I would argue that it shouldn't exist the same way because your priority should be your kid, but you have to also make time to prioritize each other."
"And if you lose sight of that and lose track of that, then I think that's when you can get into some trouble," he continues. "So make it deliberate. There's no shame in that. You've got to make it deliberate. Make time for each other, make it a scheduled thing if you have to, but make sure you give that to each other."
Related: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey's Relationship Timeline
Nick, 50, and Vanessa, 43, tied the knot in 2011 after five years of dating. They share three kids – Camden, 11, Brooklyn, 9, and Phoenix, 7 — and in addition to their respective acting and music careers, the duo also host Love Is Blind and The Ultimatum together.
Vanessa Lachey/Instagram
Vanessa and Nick Lachey with their three kidsGiven their many joint and solo commitments, Nick says he and Vanessa always make sure to communicate their needs to ensure a happy and healthy relationship.
"We've always said and been very vocal about the fact that you got to remember where it started and stay true to that," he explains. "And you've got to make time for each other, whether it's a vacation together or even a weekend together or a night together."
"There's nothing more important in our lives, or in life, than your children," he adds. "But you also have to always honor and respect and prioritize the relationship that got you those kids. So that's what we always try to maintain."
Netflix
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey at the season 6 reunion of 'Love Is Blind'In addition to being vocal with each other, the Love Is Blind co-hosts have also been upfront about their love with their children.
In March, Vanessa revealed to PEOPLE that their daughter Brooklyn wanted to make sure her parents made time to celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary together despite their busy schedules. (At the time, Vanessa was expecting to go back to work on season 4 of NCIS: Hawaii, but the series was canceled at CBS at the end of April.)
"She asked when I went back to work, and I said, 'End of June.' She goes, 'But your anniversary is July 13. She's like, 'And it's your lucky number, it's your golden anniversary.' I was like, 'I know, baby.' She said, 'Well, you have to be with Daddy. You guys have to go do something,'" Vanessa recalled.
"It was just the sweetest thing that it meant so much to her," she added, explaining that Brooklyn is "coming into that age of love and romance" and very attune to her parents' relationship dynamics.
"She's very aware when Mommy and Daddy are holding hands and loving, and very aware when there's tension in the room," Vanessa added. "I remember being that little girl and needing and craving that guidance, and that love, and that safe space. So I'm grateful in a weird way that I came out on the other end of it, and I know now what not to do. I understand what I want to do, and [Brooklyn] accepts it with open arms and lots of love."
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