Muslim mothers in Malaysia say going to a confinement centre is not about being ‘manja’, it’s about getting proper support

Malay Mail
Malay Mail

KUALA LUMPUR, Sept 19 — So what is the difference between staying at a confinement centre and having a confinement lady come to your home for a few hours each day?

And what about Muslim mothers who may want to sign up for a confinement centre package to carry out their pantang period?

Pantang or berpantang in Malay for confinement is where a Muslim mother, after giving birth typically undergoes confinement for 40 to 44 days.

Iliana Mohamad, 35, had her second child in May 2022, and decided to take up a confinement package stay at a Muslim confinement centre.

Some may wonder why she did not get her mother or mother-in-law to help, or hire a confinement lady to help out with the post-delivery care.

“I know naturally, most mothers will fall back on their mother or mother-in-law, but in some cases like mine, my mother is no longer around, and my in-laws are too fragile to handle both me and my baby.

“If I were to hire a confinement lady I still have to take over when she goes back and I didn’t have the energy to do so, especially late at night,” Illiana said.

In recent years, the idea of a confinement centre — common among non-Muslim mothers in Malaysia — has been adopted by Muslim mothers. Some even stayed in non-Muslim confinement centres that cater halal meals.

“The demand for Muslim confinement centres has grown, at least from my observations, when I search for these centres online, I find more than two choices.

“Back then, it was almost impossible to find a halal-certified confinement centre, I almost signed up with one that didn’t have a halal certificate,” she added.

Illiana said one of the main reasons she decided to stay at the confinement centre is that she need not worry about the cooking and cleaning at home.

“Even with a confinement lady, mothers still have to buy ingredients and this is very troublesome.

“I’m not being lazy, or manja as some view it, but it’s too much to think about especially when you’re trying to cope both physically and emotionally,” she said, using the Malay word that roughly translates as spoilt or pampered.

Hasanah Abdul Rahim said that the centre provided dietitians who guided mothers on their post-delivery diet and hydration. — Picture courtesy of Suraya Mothercare and Beauty
Hasanah Abdul Rahim said that the centre provided dietitians who guided mothers on their post-delivery diet and hydration. — Picture courtesy of Suraya Mothercare and Beauty

Hasanah Abdul Rahim said that the centre provided dietitians who guided mothers on their post-delivery diet and hydration. — Picture courtesy of Suraya Mothercare and Beauty

All this convenience comes at a price, of course, with some packages going for as high as RM30,000.

Tengku Dahlia, 42, said the price may seem hefty, but it covers everything including the 24-hour air-conditioning, meals for both the woman and her husband, and most importantly professional care.

“I paid RM20,000 for my first child and RM15,000 for my second child, and I find that it’s worth it as there are trained nurses who will take care of both me and the baby at all times.

“You can make full use of the time there to rest knowing that your child is in safe hands,” she said.

However, Dahlia said some mothers could be wary about their baby being placed in a separate room, but this is normal practice in all confinement centres.

“The room is similar to the ones in hospitals, it’s spacious enough for the number of babies in it.

“And if one baby cries, they will bring the baby to calm him or her before returning the baby to join the others,” she said.

Hasanah Abdul Rahim, 30, said she is not particular about the old ways of observing the pantang period, instead she is focused on full recovery.

“I understand that there are certain beliefs that certain ingredients could promote quick healing, but I also have the doctor’s advice to avoid certain food items to suit my health condition.

“At the centre, I had dietitians who would advise on what mothers should be eating and drinking after delivery,” Hasanah said.

Although the centre does away with traditional pantang meals, they still practise traditional treatment for mothers which include bertuku (hot compress), berdiang (heat treatment), urut (massage), barut or berbengkung (wrap) and tangas (vagina steaming).

Wrapping the abdomen is a traditional post-delivery practice known as barut or berbengkung passed down for generations in the Malay community as a method to support the recovery and healing of mothers after childbirth. — Picture courtesy of Suraya Mothercare and Beauty
Wrapping the abdomen is a traditional post-delivery practice known as barut or berbengkung passed down for generations in the Malay community as a method to support the recovery and healing of mothers after childbirth. — Picture courtesy of Suraya Mothercare and Beauty

Wrapping the abdomen is a traditional post-delivery practice known as barut or berbengkung passed down for generations in the Malay community as a method to support the recovery and healing of mothers after childbirth. — Picture courtesy of Suraya Mothercare and Beauty

“These treatments actually work, so it’s good that they actually provide them. I even had a simple facial treatment. I think during the 44 days, it’s important for the mother to be well-rested so that she can be back on her feet and be mommy when she returns home,” Hasanah said.

“My husband did stay with me, but he wasn’t allowed to be outside of the room, and we had an en-suite bathroom anyway.

“When he had to go out, we would inform the centre staff so that they could inform the other mothers. It sounds tedious, but that is something that I find important at confinement centres if us Muslim mothers were to stay in,” she said.

Another reason why Hasanah wanted to stay at the centre was because she could not handle a baby with two other children at home.

“I could feel myself feeling overwhelmed when I got my second child, there were some days that I felt frustrated because I had to care for a baby and my toddler child. I was concerned that I may end up with post-natal depression.

“So when I had my third child, I knew that I could not handle three screaming children under one roof. My parents had their own commitments, and my husband too has a busy schedule.

“The confinement centre came in handy,” she explained.