Mom’s tweet helps normalize that not all siblings get along—and that’s absolutely OK

Siblings fighting

If you go by portrayals in movies and TV shows, it seems like having a sibling means you’ll have a built-in best friend, a partner to hang side-by-side with for your entire life. Parents and other caregivers enforce those beliefs, too, which can make you feel like something is seriously wrong with you if you’re not best friends with your sibling—worse if you flat-out don’t get along at all.

Mom of two Lucy Huber took to X (formerly known as Twitter) to revel in one major parenting win, sharing that her two kids hung out together in bed. “Today my 3yo & 11mo got in our bed and we hung out,” she told her followers. “This might not seem like a big deal, and Im kind of embarrassed bc I feel like its my fault, but my kids don’t get along. This is the first time we’ve been able to be this close without a huge meltdown. It’s been a rough year.”

“I share this bc all I ever see from people I know are posts about how much their toddler looooves the new baby and cute videos of them playing or hugging and this has not been my experience at all. Mostly just a year of nonstop screaming and tears.”

Fellow parents came through with stories both hilarious and mildly horrifying, revealing that some even tried to smother their siblings with a pillow or that their siblings even assisted them in “running away” without telling anyone. One even half-joked: “My brother tried to trade me for kittens when he was 3.” Plenty shared that they have had the same or similar experiences with their own children, noting that some kids simply take more time than others to adjust to not being an only child.

“Two of my kids don’t get along; most of the time,” shared one mom. “We need to normalize that not all siblings are besties.” Another said, “It’s not your fault. Kids are born with actual personalities. And some of them are not baby people.” Yet another noted that “it’s so wild that we have created a narrative about parenting that the way our kids behave/react to each other is something that’s within our control.”

And while plenty of kids who have rocky beginnings with their sibs end up the best of friends, it’s also worth normalizing that it’s OK if this doesn’t happen, either. Plenty of people grow up having little in common with their blood relatives, and it can feel so isolating when you wonder why you don’t have that natural bond with your closest family members. There’s so much pressure on kids to conform to societal norms and expectations — a close-knit family structure being a huge one. But if you aren’t that tight with them, that’s fully OK, too.

Signed, someone who relates deeply. Trust me, you’re not alone in this one, even if it feels like you are.

A version of this story was originally published on Jan. 10, 2024. It has been updated.