Mom Sparks Debate About Her Rules for Mother's Day in Viral TikTok: 'This May Ruffle Feathers'

"It is Mother’s Day, not Grandmother’s Day,” Emily Wehner said in a viral TikTok post

<p>TikTok/@emily_wehner</p> Emily Wehner in a TikTok video about her Mother


Emily Wehner in a TikTok video about her Mother's Day rules

A mom on TikTok has ignited a heated discussion after sharing her Mother's Day rules.

Last month, Emily Wehner posted a video about how she chooses to celebrate the annual holiday in her family.

Her No. 1 rule? “It is Mother’s Day, not Grandmother’s Day,” she says in the clip, adding, “Don’t worry, I’ve talked to my mom about this. She’s fine with it."

Wehner then explains that she established the guideline after her first-ever Mother’s Day because she was “pretty sad” after spending the entire day “coordinating grandparent visits.”

“I didn’t get to do anything for myself,” she further states.

Related: Which Flowers Are the Best to Give Moms as a Present on Mother's Day This Year

Wehner spoke with CNN after the video went viral and told the outlet that the day was ruled by “kid naps” and “hustle.”

So, what does she do instead? “Usually I make a plan ahead of time and talk to my husband about it,” the mom says in the TikTok clip.

Often this includes family brunch and then a series of activities that she finds relaxing — solo gardening, reading, getting a pedicure — before the house reunites again for a family dinner. “It’s usually very chill at home,” she explains.

And, as Wehner notes, the family celebrates Father’s Day the same way and then honors their grandparents on a different day.

“This may ruffle feathers for some people, but it’s what I wanna do,” she says. "I made the boundary, and I’m the one deep into the mothering right now, so I’m gonna take the day how I wanna take the day.”

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In the comments section of the video, which has received over 2 million views and 180,000 likes, some users applauded the way Wehner advocated for herself, while others accused her of being selfish.

“Ya selfish women want your husbands to forget about their moms for you, can’t wait until your kids grow up and do the same to you,” one commenter said, as another added, “Mothers Day is to celebrate YOUR mother, not worry about yourself, that is so selfish. Me me me.”

Others expressed a desire to set the boundary that she did, given their own Mother’s Day experiences.

“This is my third mother's day as a mom and it's 100% about my mom and his mom. I haven't been celebrated yet,” one mom wrote, to which Wehner replied, “Ughhh no … take some time for yourself this Mother’s Day!! Plan ahead.”

Related: The Best Mother's Day Gifts from Budget-Friendly to All Out Splurge

Another took her philosophy and summarized it in a succinct piece of wisdom, writing, “My step mom told me that Mothers Day is for those in active service not veterans lol.”

Reflecting on these responses to CNN after her rules went viral, Wehner said that sharing the video was a bit naive.

She explained that she was “innocently trying to just be like, ‘Hey, this is what’s worked for us,’ " adding: “I’m really, really lucky that my mom lives just a mile down the road, and I see her often, and she’s a big part of our life.”

“I feel like a lot of people took it as I don’t see my mom or my mother-in-law," she added, "which just isn’t true."

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