After Mom-of-4 Collapses with Stroke, Community Rallies to Help Give Breast Milk for Her Baby Daughter (Exclusive)

Nancy Her, 43, has a long road ahead, her family says, but they've been touched by the generosity of others

• Occupational therapist Nancy Her collapsed while helping a patient on Aug. 13 after suffering an ischemic stroke, her family says

• Among the challenges for her loved ones was that her 9-month-old daughter, Samantha, is allergic to formula

• Moms in the area responded to a request for aid by donating their own breast milk, and thousands of dollars have poured in for a fundraiser for Her

On Aug. 13, Nancy Her was working as an occupational therapist in Roseville, Minn., helping people recover from strokes and other health conditions — another normal day until she suddenly collapsed herself.

The first-response team who treated Her, 43, initially assumed she had a seizure, Audrey Yang, Her's sister, tells PEOPLE.

“Once the paramedics got there, they looked at her and knew it was serious,” Yang says. “They said to [the first-response team], ‘This is not a seizure. This is something more than a seizure, and we need to get her to the hospital as soon as possible.’ So they made that judgment call and tried their best to get her to the hospital as quickly as they could.”

The paramedics were right.

Her was later diagnosed with an ischemic stroke — in which blood can't reach the brain properly — and underwent two surgeries to stop the clots and to relieve the swelling in her brain.

The diagnosis has devastated her family, especially her husband, Eugene Her, and their four children — the youngest being only 9 months old. "We were just shocked and blown away," Yang says.

Currently, Nancy is staying at a long-term acute care facility and remains in a largely "comatose or vegetative state," her sister says, though she has opened her eyes and is stable.

Related: Missouri Mom with Cancer Asks Public for Breast Milk to Feed Baby as She Undergoes Treatment

“My parents are there every day, and Eugene is there every day also,” Yang says. “It's really hard when you have somebody you love who used to be perfectly healthy to see them in that state. So I think it's really hard for my parents and for Eugene to leave her in that facility by herself, knowing that she was somebody who used to be fully capable."

"And she's so young," Yang continues. "She should not be in this place. It's just so unfair.”

Strokes are far from rare, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and though risk increases with age, nearly 40% of hospitalized stroke patients were younger than 65 as of 2014.

The CDC notes that leading causes include diabetes, high blood pressure or cholesterol, obesity and smoking.

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Before the stroke, Yang says, her sister had experienced headaches but assumed it was nothing serious at the time. Nancy had no previously known history of major medical problems and no record of high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol, according to Yang.

This is how her stroke happened: "The blood clot formed somewhere else outside of her brain and traveled up into her brain," Yang explains, "and that's where it stopped the blood flow to her brain."

"You don't have to be old. You don't have to have all these preexisting conditions," Yang says. "They [the doctors] have no answers as to why this would happen."

Among those in Nancy’s family impacted by her condition is her 9-month-old daughter, Samantha. Allergic to baby formula, Samantha had relied on her mother’s breast milk. 

“She would vomit constantly if she took in formulas,” says Yang. In the wake of Nancy's stroke, the family had to figure out how to get her nutrition.

“My brother-in-law reminded me that she didn't have a stash [of Nancy's breast milk] because she could barely produce enough to provide Sammy," Yang says. "She just had enough for maybe a day or two.

Yang shared Nancy’s situation on Facebook, which, in a touching gesture, prompted mothers in the community to donate their own breast milk to help feed Samantha.

“People are so compassionate when it comes to a child not having their own mother there,” Yang says. “They can empathize with the fact that a mother is sick and she can't care for her child. And so we had an overwhelming amount of people reach out to offer the breast milk that they had."

Some of the other moms took steps even beyond just donating their milk.

"I think even we had some folks [who] were like, ‘I make a lot. I'm going to pump today for you, and I'll drop it off tomorrow,’ " Yang says. "So we have a stash of that where people pumped that day and then they brought it in the next day.”

Related: Community Donates Breast Milk to Baby Twins When Mom Struggles to Produce: It's 'Amazing to See'

Now, Yang says that their family has enough donated breast milk for Samantha to last two months, until she turns 11 months old. “Then we might need just a little bit more to get her by to her 12-month mark,” she says.

After that, "we're going to switch her to cow's milk and see how she does there," Yang says. "If she doesn't do well with cow's milk, then we're going to have to look at some alternative non-dairy or non-vegan formulas for her.”

Nancy and Eugene were also in the middle of purchasing a home before her hospitalization.

“Their offer was just accepted,” Yang says. “Nancy was really excited about that. Now that this has all happened, we have been encouraging Eugene to move forward with the purchase of the home because we need a stable environment for the girls. And of course, if Nancy gets better, she needs to have a place to be able to come back to.”

Related: Milk Banks Are Helping Babies in Need Get Breast Milk: What to Know About Donating and Receiving

Medical professionals have told Nancy’s family to give her some time to recover, Yang says. But for now, she hasn’t been able to recognize her relatives when they visit her.

Nancy’s elder daughters — Ruth, 17, Bethany, 16, and 13-year-old Gwen — recently started the school year and "really wanted her home so that she could wish them off on their first day,“ says Yang.

“We had to tell them that that wasn't going to be possible," she says, adding, "That was really hard, but they're hanging in there. They're doing as good as they can.”

“We are three weeks into this, and we understand the [gravity] of the situation," Yang says. "Initially we didn't know. We thought Nancy was going to come out of surgery and she was just going to wake up and come back within the next week. It's been three weeks, and she isn't anywhere near what we thought she would be. So this is going to continue long term.”

Nancy has a long road ahead, Yang says: "She's not going to come home for a really long time. She needs a lot of care."

She has a lot of support, too. Yang launched a GoFundMe to help raise money for her and her family’s medical expenses. It has received more than $25,000.

“Everyone's been really generous and loving to the family, so I know that everyone appreciates that,” Yang says.

At the moment, Nancy’s family members are leaning on each other and their religious faith as they ready themselves for what may come.

“We know that we need a miracle for Nancy to recover from this,” Yang says. “At this point, we know it requires a miracle, and so we know it's completely out of our control. And so we're all grieving in different ways, but we're all also leaning on our faith to help us get through and to help us find some peace and acceptance about this.”

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