Meghan Markle says she's still 'healing' after royal family exit: 'I can talk about my whole experience and make a choice not to'

·3-min read

Meghan Markle continues to open up about her life with Prince Harry after formally leaving the royal family, sharing that she's purposefully keeping details of their previous life to herself.

"It's interesting, I've never had to sign anything that restricts me from talking. I can talk about my whole experience and make a choice not to," she told The Cut, noting that the reason she's stayed quiet is that she is "still healing."

Mental health has been at the forefront of the couple's journey since Markle revealed in a sit down interview with Oprah Winfrey just how much she had been struggling. During the March 2021 special, she and Harry said that the Firm's reluctance to get Markle the help she needed was one of many reasons that they took a step away.

During a recent trip to London for the Queen's Platinum Jubilee, Markle said she went back to Frogmore Cottage, which she and Harry previously called home. While packing up she reflected on some of those difficult moments.

"You go back and you open drawers and you're like, 'Oh my gosh. This is what I was writing in my journal there?'" she said, adding that it felt "surreal" to be back. "It was bittersweet, you know? Knowing none of it had to be this way."

Both Markle and Harry have revealed some of their causes for what was deemed their "Megxit" by British tabloids. Markle attributes some of the friction to the fact that she was simply ill prepared for the role. Upon becoming the Duchess of Sussex, she decided the best route was to do what she was told.

"I​​ was an actress. My entire job was 'Tell me where to stand. Tell me what to say. Tell me how to say it. Tell me what to wear, and I’ll do it.' And I'll show up early, and I'll probably bake something for the crew,'" she explained. Although there are plenty of fiction works that reflect her real life experience, Markle said she'd never seen them. "That would've been really helpful. That would've been a very key tutorial to have had in advance of all this."

Ultimately, Markle said that "just by existing, we were upsetting the dynamic of the hierarchy," as she and Harry became consistent fodder for the tabloids. As they've worked to make a new life for themselves in California, a big part of the journey is taking back their narrative.

Markle is doing so with her newly launched podcast Archetypes, which she says is a type of reintroduction for herself. "It's so real," she told the publication. "I feel different. I feel clearer. It's like I'm finding — not finding my voice, I've had my voice for a long time, but being able to use it."

Still, she remains cautious of how she's using her voice in the hopes that she can find peace within her own family, as she has an estranged relationship with her father and the royal family.

"I think forgiveness is really important. It takes a lot more energy to not forgive. But it takes a lot of effort to forgive. I've really made an active effort, especially knowing that I can say anything," she said. "I have a lot to say until I don't. Do you like that? Sometimes, as they say, the silent part is still part of the song."

In the meantime, she's most focused on building a joyful life for her children, Archie, 3, and Lilibet, 1, with her partner in all things, Harry. "We're like salt and pepper," she of their relationship. "We always move together."

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