Married And Living With Housemates: Could It Work For You?
Watch the full episode below!
Living with housemates is a common choice for singles, but when it comes to married couples, it’s a rare sight indeed. Yet, who says it can’t work? If you and your partner have debated whether renting that extra room for some side income is worth it, you’re about to find out.
Look at how Vivien and Teck Tsen made it work—a couple who faced a similar dilemma but decided to take the leap and embrace the unconventional path of shared living. “We are a married couple with housemates,” says Teck Tsen. “Might sound crazy, but that’s what we’re doing right now,” adds Vivien.
Their lifestyle choice has done wonders for their budget, future plans, and everyday life. Not only have they succeeded, but they also see it as a smart option more couples should explore. Let’s learn from their experience in navigating this unique setup.
Why They Choose To Live With Housemates?
Vivien notes that in many Asian families, married couples are expected to move back in with their parents after the wedding, either to save on costs or to follow tradition. However, for her and Teck Tsen, that wasn’t a necessity. Instead, they opted to share their home in Petaling Jaya with two housemates—and two dogs.
“Living with housemates wasn’t really planned. It just fell into place,” recalls Teck Tsen. While some may see it as an unconventional choice, for them, it has been a practical and strategic solution for achieving their long-term aspirations. The couple has ambitious plans to build their own home in the near future, and shared living has helped them save and stay on track with their budget.
How They Made It Work: Tips For Living With Housemates
So, how do they live with housemates as a married couple? According to Vivien and Teck Tsen, finding housemates with similar values and lifestyles is the key. Establishing a harmonious living environment where everyone gets along and respects each other’s space is also essential.
Here are their top tips for making this lifestyle work:
1. Find Like-Minded Housemates
Vivien and Teck Tsen recommend getting to know potential housemates before making any commitments. “Maybe go out for coffee or do some sports together before making a decision,” suggests Teck Tsen. These casual meet-ups help determine whether you’d enjoy each other’s company.
“If you all don’t get along, it probably won’t work out,” Vivien adds. It’s about having friendly relations and understanding each other’s habits, schedules, and expectations for shared spaces. If there’s a significant mismatch in personalities or living styles, problems are bound to arise.
And if things do go south, “somebody has to leave,” Teck Tsen says matter-of-factly. When you find the right fit, shared living can become a smoother and more enjoyable experience.
2. Create a Positive Atmosphere
Vivien and Teck Tsen believe that spending time together as housemates helps maintain a good vibe in the house. “We used to do art projects together and have dinner nights,” Vivien recalls. “We have made handmade pizza and pasta many times before,” they both chime in, highlighting how shared meals and fun projects can bring everyone closer.
These shared experiences can turn the house from a mere living space into a home where everyone feels included. However, the couple also recognises the importance of respecting personal boundaries and giving each other space when needed.
“If someone is in their room, we don’t just barge in,” says Vivien. They’ve learned to be mindful of each other’s moods and understand when someone needs time alone. “We read the room and leave them alone if they need time by themselves,” she adds.
3. Manage Finances Wisely
One of the most crucial aspects of living with housemates is ensuring transparent and fair financial management. Sharing expenses can make life more affordable, but it also requires careful coordination to ensure everyone contributes their fair share.
Teck Tsen suggests using tools to simplify expense tracking. “You can try downloading apps like Splitwise,” he advises, noting that these tools help keep track of shared expenses such as utilities, groceries, and other household costs. Vivien also emphasises the importance of discussing and agreeing on roles and responsibilities.
In their own household, Vivien and Teck Tsen found practical ways to manage responsibilities. “If somebody refuses to do certain things, we sort of work around it,” says Vivien. For instance, since no one particularly enjoys cleaning, they agreed to chip in money and hire a cleaner once or twice a month.
This arrangement keeps the household tidy and helps avoid conflicts over chores by finding a solution that works for everyone.
4. Stay Flexible
Maintaining a sense of adaptability can make a significant difference in any shared living arrangement.
Teck Tsen warns against being too particular about minor inconveniences. “Don’t get upset over an unwashed cup,” he says, emphasising the importance of letting go of small issues.
Vivien reinforces this point: “Yeah, be flexible,” she says, highlighting that open-mindedness is crucial for keeping harmony in the household. The couple understands that living with others means embracing different habits, routines, and preferences.
While it’s important to establish basic ground rules, it’s equally important to be open to minor adjustments when things don’t go exactly as planned. Being overly rigid can create stress and resentment, while a more relaxed approach fosters a positive and cooperative atmosphere.
The Benefits of Shared Living
According to Teck Tsen, living with housemates has its perks. “It’s great, especially if you don’t like being alone. It’s always nice to come home to a house that’s not empty, and you have extra help whenever you need it.”
For Teck Tsen, the social aspect of shared living helps create a lively atmosphere and a sense of community, making everyday life more enjoyable. Whether it’s having someone to chat with over dinner or getting help with household tasks, there’s a comfort in knowing that you’re not navigating everything alone.
For Vivien, the biggest benefit is financial. “I get to save so much more money,” she says. By sharing the cost of living, they’re able to save for their future home, all while maintaining a good quality of life.
The savings help them avoid the financial strain of living in a city, allowing them to enjoy their current lifestyle without sacrificing their long-term goals.
The Downsides To Consider
Of course, living with housemates has its challenges. As Vivien points out, “The entire house isn’t fully yours. You can’t do whatever you want with the different spaces.” Sharing common areas means compromising how those spaces are used and decorated.
Whether you’re rearranging furniture or setting up a home office, personalising shared areas to your exact liking may have limitations.
Privacy can also be an issue. While Vivien and Teck Tsen do their best to maintain a considerate atmosphere, the presence of housemates means that quiet moments or personal discussions might be interrupted.
“We try to avoid arguments when our housemates are home,” Vivien shares, acknowledging that even small disagreements can create a tense atmosphere.
Although these challenges don’t outweigh the benefits for Vivien and Teck Tsen, they are worth considering for anyone thinking about shared living.
Choosing Your Own Path
Ultimately, Vivien and Teck Tsen believe that there’s no “normal” way to live, and everyone should find the best arrangement for them. “There are so many different ways to live. Just choose your own way,” encourages Vivien.
Whether you’re married, single, or in a relationship, living with housemates can be a practical and fulfilling option that offers both social and financial benefits.
The couple hopes that their experience will encourage others to think beyond the typical expectations of married life. “If you’re a couple like us or single, we hope we’ve inspired you to consider living with housemates as another valid choice,” they conclude. Whatever path you choose, don’t forget the practicalities involved. Since renting out to housemates involves shared responsibilities and legal considerations, ensure a proper tenancy agreement is in place. This can help protect both parties and set clear expectations, making the shared living experience smoother and more enjoyable.