Manchester United ‘swap deal’ temptation as man turns up for work elsewhere

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Jadon Sancho and Scott McTominay launch a Manchester United kit Credit: PA Images
Jadon Sancho and Scott McTominay launch a Manchester United kit Credit: PA Images

When is a swap deal not a swap deal? When players are not being swapped by Manchester United or anybody else…

 

Swapsies
A swap deal is a rare and beautiful thing in transfers and it’s that rarity that makes it intriguing to us. As a wise man once said:

We see far more headlines about swap deals than we see swap deals, precisely because of that clash between rarity and intrigue. Swap deals = clicks. They’re so tempting. So, so very, very tempting.

Look at this for a headline…

‘Erik ten Hag’s Man Utd transfer plan receives boost as swap deal takes shape’

How could anybody resist the twin towers of Manchester United and a ‘swap deal’? In hindsight, Alexis Sanchez, but we digress.

So what’s the story, Mirror bods?

‘Manchester United have been handed a potential boost in their pursuit of Ajax forward Antony as the Dutch giants close in on a deal to sign Francisco Conceicao.’

Okay so where’s the swap deal?

‘New United boss Erik ten Hag wants Antony in his ideal XI at Old Trafford and the Brazilian forward wants to be reunited with his former coach having put pressure on Ajax to consider allowing him to join the Red Devils in this summer window.’

Okay so where’s the swap deal?

‘Antony – the Dutch side’s star player last season – is hopeful of rekindling his strong relationship with Ten Hag amid reports that the player’s representatives recently travelled to Europe in order to help negotiate a deal this window.’

Okay so where’s the swap deal?

We could do this another seven times – one for each paragraph – but you already know the punchline: There is no swap deal.

The entire story is that Ajax are buying a player so they could sell Antony to Manchester United. That’s it. That’s all he wrote.

If we start to describe one club buying a player from another club and then selling another player to a third club as a ‘swap deal’ then civilisation is f***ed. We’re not even joking. We’re out.

 

Pray tell
Elsewhere on the Mirror website:

‘Man Utd target Ruben Neves offers telling insight as Erik ten Hag ‘considers’ Wolves star’

And pray tell, what’s this ‘telling insight’?

“It’s pre-season, we are used to it. We need to get back to our best form to be a 100 per cent in August and we are looking to that.

“It’s always good when you train, but it’s better when you play and next week we have four games, so it will be really good for us to prepare and get fit.”

Telling: ‘having a striking or revealing effect; significant’.

Nailed it.

 

Sterling work
Transfer fees are never quite as transparent as we would like but the majority of the media seems to agree that Lisandro Martinez is moving to Manchester United from Ajax for £46.8m with an extra £8.5m potentially to be paid in add-ons to make £55.3m if all conditions are met.

Of course, the modern way is to add on the add-ons now even though there is every chance that Martinez will never cost that figure. This is Manchester United, after all.

So The Sun website tell us that ‘Man Utd confirm £55m Lisandro Martinez transfer from Ajax as Erik ten Hag starts raiding old club for best talent’.

Which is odd because The Sun newspaper has a back page that trumpets that ‘MANCHESTER UNITED have agreed a £57million deal with Ajax over the signing of defender Lisandro Martinez’.

If Vic Holly actually existed, we would accuse him/her/them of forgetting that the 10 million in add-ons is calculated in euros and not pounds.

 

Reach for the clicks…
In the Manchester Evening News, Samuel Luckhurst writes a quite reasonable piece arguing that Manchester United really do need to bring in a central midfield recruit pretty sharpish, what with the start of the season being only three weeks away.

He writes about David Moyes’ damaging pursuit of Cesc Fabregas and draws parallels with the pursuit of Frenkie de Jong, which could end in similar embarrassment.

Stick this through the Reach headline machine and what do you get?

‘Manchester United have to meet a new transfer deadline for their midfield’

For God’s sake, don’t make us feel sorry for Luckhurst.

 

Raheem: the dream dies
They’ve been waiting an awful long time for this but the Liverpool Echo have announced a significant victory:

‘Raheem Sterling has finally paid the price for Liverpool exit’

Yes, we expect he will cry himself to sleep with his four Premier League titles and six other assorted medals won in seven years at Manchester City, as he joins last year’s Champions League winners in his home town of London.

Take that, Raheem.

 

Striker light
Meanwhile in The Sun, miserable Mark Irwin tells us that ‘Arteta is more than happy to go into the new season without a recognised centre-forward as he relies on Jesus and Eddie Nketiah to fire Arsenal into the top four’.

What the f*** is Jesus if not a recognised centre-forward?

This is what the man himself said at his unveiling: “I’m a number nine! I’m a striker, you know. I’m so glad and I thank God every day that I can be alive, and that I can play in three or four different positions, but I think my position is nine.”

You think? But what does miserable Mark Irwin think?

 

Working-class hero
But forget all that because the big news – according to The Sun website – is that ‘ERLING HAALAND trained with his Manchester City team-mates after jetting on the champions’ US tour’.

Yes. Man turns up to work.

The article Manchester United ‘swap deal’ temptation as man turns up for work elsewhere appeared first on Football365.com.

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