Man Upset His Girlfriend Agreed to Be a Bridesmaid in Wedding for Ex-Boyfriend’s Cousin: ‘Not Okay with This’

The man noted that he agreed to go to the wedding with her as long as she didn’t “attend any event where her ex would be present”

<p>Csatary Photo/Getty</p> Stock photo of a bride with bridesmaids

Csatary Photo/Getty

Stock photo of a bride with bridesmaids

A man is asking for some advice after his girlfriend agreed to be in the wedding party for the cousin of her ex-boyfriend, going against his wishes.

The 29-year-old man from Connecticut explained in a letter to the Toronto Sun’s "Dear Abby" column that it all began when his 25-year-old girlfriend — who he’s been dating for the last year and even moved in with — was asked to be a bridesmaid at a wedding between her ex-boyfriend’s cousin and friend.

He noted that her ex-boyfriend was also set to be part of the same wedding party, and that his cousin didn’t “seem to have many other friends,” which is why his girlfriend was asked to be a bridesmaid.

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“It is clear to me that my girlfriend really wants to attend this wedding,” he wrote. “I asked her to see if we could attend the wedding without her being a bridesmaid, but she’s under the impression that we wouldn’t be invited otherwise.”

He went on to say that he felt like he “couldn’t say no,” so he agreed to go to the wedding with her as long as she didn’t “attend any event where her ex would be present.”

However, he said that his girlfriend eventually agreed to become a bridesmaid, which meant that she would see her ex-boyfriend who was also participating in pre-wedding events and planning.

Related: Bride Replaces Bridesmaid Just Days Before Wedding Because She Refused to Buy the Specified Dress

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He said because of this, he finds himself “getting upset every time the wedding is mentioned.”

“I haven’t begun to feel resentful toward her, but I’m worried this may change as the wedding draws closer,” he shared. “I want to be supportive, but I also can’t ignore that I am clearly not okay with this arrangement. What should I do?”

In response to the question, “Abby” advised the Connecticut man that he should not “be placing stipulations” on his girlfriend for being part of the wedding, and said that pressuring her to “back out on the promise of being in the bridal party” would be in “childish” on his part.

“Abby” also advised that he should “conquer” his insecurities and even consider letting his girlfriend go to the wedding “alone.” Though, the columnist also noted that he should show support for her decision to go to the wedding and send her off with a “smile,” “hug” and words of encouragement and let her know that he would be “waiting with open arms when she gets back.”

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