Male reality TV preacher weighs in on fake eyelashes, concludes they’re haram because he can’t tell the difference

In today’s edition of men offering women unsolicited opinions on what they can and cannot do, allow us to direct your attention to the winner of Pencetus Ummah, a locally produced reality television program pitting aspiring (male!) preachers against each other, in the hopes of finding … wisdom? A voice that speaks to the youth of today? An authority on just how unholy it is to make a reboot of Face/Off? Something laidat, lah.

PU Azman Syah took to his Instagram to shell out advice to his followers, and while you might hope they ran along the lines of how to treat others with more kindness and understanding, Azman has bigger fish to fry.

Namely, false eyelashes!

We can hear your incredulity now — Really, Coconuts KL?! This guy has nothing better to do that talk about eyelid accessories when our world is (literally) on fire, and he’s got a platform reaching over a million people?!

Apparently. We guess someone must have done him dirty to take out a direct hit on fake eyelashes as intensely as he is.

OK — tell us why fake eyelashes are supposedly haram (forbidden by Islamic law)?

Well, according to Azman, FIRST OF ALL – they are excessive.

Also, “there is an element of fraud. The wearer wants other people to know they’re her lashes, when really, they’re not.”

“If the wearer has no such intentions, it’s still haram because others believe it’s her natural lashes, therefore there is an element of deception,” he wrote in his post.

He then concluded that it was “illegal” to change God’s creation, but if a woman really wanted to wear false lashes, then it should be at home with her husband to gain pahala (religious rewards for good deeds).

Right. Well, what about wearing eyelashes for your gosh-darn self, NOT ANY MAN, and you obviously know they’re fake cuz you spent 20 minutes putting that shit on? What about that PU Azman?

A quick perusal of his Instagram has led us to this photo of the reality show winner, shown in his most natural state, just as the Creator intended: Wearing polarized lenses and shilling whitening toothpaste.

Good to know that while fake eyelashes are a hard no, it’s A-OK to have your teeth seven shades whiter than their natural state.

And while eyelashes might be “excessive,” this gratuitous, fancy new motorbike shot is totally not!

Now, we have to admit that we were curious where, shall we say … more established authorities stood on the matter, and to the internets we went.

As it turns out, the general consensus of make-up in Islam ranges from, yes it’s permissible — get your kohl — to yeah sure, within reason.

While some believe that as long as it’s not excessive, it’s fine, others think that you should only be your fly-est self for your husband. Then there are the folk who have interpretations that it is one’s duty to look best in public, as long as it does not veer into being sexually suggestive.

So much information, excuse us while we go down a hyper-link rabbit hole. BRB.

This article, Male reality TV preacher weighs in on fake eyelashes, concludes they’re haram because he can’t tell the difference, originally appeared on Coconuts, Asia's leading alternative media company. Want more Coconuts? Sign up for our newsletters!