‘Love Is Blind’s Clay explains his decision at the altar with AD
For "Love Is Blind" stars Clay Gravesande and Amber Desiree “AD” Smith, love is broken after the season 6 finale.
The Netflix stars experienced a rollercoaster of emotions during the final episode, during which the pair made their final decisions at the altar.
Leading up to the wedding, the bride and groom were all smiles and seemingly excited for their big day. Clay had an emotional heart-to-heart with his dad. While getting her hair done, AD shared a moment in her dressing room with her mom that ended in a downpour of happy tears.
But those tears of joy quickly turned into tears of confusion.
Clay’s response after AD said “I do” at the altar?
“This has been the best process. AD, I love you. I don’t think it’s responsible for me to say ‘I do.”
He explained his decision wasn’t about anything AD did wrong, but rather his personal issues, childhood trauma and inability to be the husband she needs.
“I still need work,” Clay said. “I still need to get to the point where I’m 100 percent in.”
Clay recently sat down with Daily News to discuss the thought process that led him to realize he couldn’t marry AD.
“I think my [perspective] of marriage was more so the family dynamic, but not the husband and wife,” he told the News. “I never really kind of tuned in on the love aspect.”
The entrepreneur admits his view on marriage is a result of the dynamic he witnessed between his parents as a kid. He says watching his father constantly cheat on his mom affected him mentally.
“With this show, ‘Love Is Blind,’ where it’s me and AD, you have to, like, really flourish with your love. I think that was a struggle for me, because I went back to my past and also the men in my life. And I was like, ‘Man, I really don’t have good representation.’ My dad’s a great father, but in terms of faithfulness in a relationship? I didn’t want to bring some of my dad’s scars to the relationship. And I felt like it kept coming up.”
Clay expressed his self-doubt to AD several times throughout the season. Despite his misgivings, AD stuck by his side, hoping he would eventually rise to the occasion.
“I wanted to make sure she knew, ‘Hey, this is where my mind was.’ Because when you have something in your mind, you might shut down. I wanted to make sure that I explained to her, ‘this is what I was going through.’”
The reality star admits his faults, saying his “ego” often gets in his way.
“I’m a guy that goes off the physical, you know, I have a huge ego. And I’m in this process where you have to let the ego down, you have to build your emotional connection. So I felt like it was meant for me to be there.“
AD, visibly shocked by the rejection at the altar, spent much of the episode crying in the arms of her family and friends as she processed the pain and humiliation of the moment.
“I just keep feeling like I keep getting so f—ing close,” AD says in the episode. “And I keep like doing so much for these men and carrying these f—ing relationships. And like it’s just not f—ing enough.”
Although Clay didn’t choose marriage with AD, he admits, “AD just being herself made me want to be better.”
And while she also had kind words for Clay, AD assured she will not go back to him: “I’m done,” she said.
“I love him. I love him. I really do. I’m really sad that I wasn’t enough for him to, like, get right.”
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The “Love Is Blind” season 6 reunion drops on Mar.13 on Netflix.
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