Lord Of The Rings Moneyball Is the Perfect Meme To End 2023
I didn’t think it was still possible, but Twitter just served up my favorite crossover of the year: Lord of the Rings Moneyball. You see, you take the plot of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and then talk about it using Moneyball quotes. It’s simple, stupid, and so satisfying I can’t believe nobody thought of it before.
The end of year holiday season is a time when many of us take time off, hang out with loved ones, and inexplicably attempt to watch the entire Lord of the Rings Extended Edition for the sixth time. The Peter Jackson fantasy adaptation’s epic 11-hour-and-36-minute runtime offers plenty of time for respite and reflection, letting us ponder everything from the millions of cumulative life choices that brought us to this point, to gaming out every which way we might have tried to defeat Lord Sauron had we been players of consequence in the twilight of Middle-Earth’s third age.
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https://t.co/KnGCFZ5QPi pic.twitter.com/gp8UsJIz32
— Jake From Snake Farm (@realSnakeFarm) December 27, 2023
“Then there is Merry’s younger cousin, Pippin”
“I don’t know Elrond, there is word on him on the pipe-weed and hitting the inns” https://t.co/v7scs7Ds6W pic.twitter.com/VtYKSGQaFZ— Benni Valur (@bennivaluR_) December 27, 2023
Boromir learning that only two Men have been called up to the fellowship roster https://t.co/5na9DBAeoz pic.twitter.com/lXKMqBbHMR
— 𓅪 Dr Alex Evans 𓅪 (@alexevans91) December 27, 2023
“Tell them how easy it is to walk into Mordor, Boromir.”
“It’s incredibly difficult.” https://t.co/SomBMcOzm8 pic.twitter.com/dbIQwPKa0Y— BK (@TheBennettK) December 27, 2023
“You can’t send Faramir to Osgiliath”
“And I, uh... I disagree with you, plain and simple. And moreover, I’m defending Gondor in a way that I can explain in job interviews next winter.” https://t.co/oNJd4l0AJN pic.twitter.com/xgay1ci0aZ— Chris Nero (@Cbk1026) December 27, 2023
“there is an epidemic failure within middle earth to understand what is really happening and this leads to those who run kingdoms to misjudge the strength of men and mismanage their realms” https://t.co/pyt7WjHOPD pic.twitter.com/bftQcsdOfP
— atia of the julii fanpage (@j_w_h3ron88) December 27, 2023
“I want Aragorn at the sword, Legolas at the bow, Gimli at the axe, Frodo at the ring, and anyone but Boromir watching his back.”
“You want Frodo at the ring?”
“That’s right.”
“And his meekness?”
“His meekness does not matter!” https://t.co/HIeLKQ0mxH pic.twitter.com/v9doKSqNX7— Jimmy Shiffer (@Holy_SHIFF) December 27, 2023
“We got 4 Halflings in the Starting 9. This gives us enough roster picks for Gandalf the Grey, and yes he does have a few years on him, and he will disappear mid season for a few games but you’re going to want him on a playoff run at the turn of the tide. Trust me on this.” https://t.co/SNkJncLnxG pic.twitter.com/BgQR9SHIxG
— The Middle-earth Mixer (@MiddleearthMixr) December 27, 2023
Gandalf might be gone, but we might might be able to recreate him in the aggregate, Gollum's IM percentage (in Mordor) is the highest in Middle Earth, I don't care if the scouts say he has a weird voice, I just care if he gets into Mordor https://t.co/3U3Ye46Ccx pic.twitter.com/1cGgLSGG8I
— Myles (@rizzlerofcook) December 27, 2023
"Billy, we have Tom Bombadil practically signed already. He's got some years on him, sure, but he was never once tempted by the One Ring."
"If we give Tom Bombadil the ring, he'll just forget he has it. No, we take his 1 spot and bring in *sharpie noises* 4 halflings."
*groans* https://t.co/cCm4WVVRnn pic.twitter.com/adTCcKMfKY— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) December 27, 2023
Billy, this is Frodo Baggins. He's less tempted by the ring than any men, elves or dwarves in the fellowship. His defect is that he's four feet tall. https://t.co/Xg8GUpYWI5 pic.twitter.com/cesodjm4xp
— L.C. Norton (@ByLCNorton) December 26, 2023
“If we try to play like Mordor in here, we will lose to Mordor out there” https://t.co/8U5mKMHZzF pic.twitter.com/wdZlaJiYu7
— Conor Sheeran (@conor__sheeran) December 27, 2023
It helps if you’ve seen both The Lord of the Rings and Moneyball, the sports biopic zapped with Aaron Sorkin screenplay quips and based on the 2003 Michael Lewis book about an an underdog baseball team using sabermetrics to beat its better-funded rivals. But it’s enough just to be familiar with them, and the way your average fantasy league player nowadays often talks about their draft as if they too are using arcane statistical methods to mount an unlikely but nevertheless urgent campaign against the very armies of darkness incarnate.
And if you do want to better acquaint yourself with the source material behind Twitter’s last gasp of whimsical humor, The Lord of the Rings is streaming on HBO Max and Moneyball is available to watch for free with ads on YouTube.
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