All the life lessons Samantha Jones taught us in Sex and the City

Lydia Spencer-Elliott
·4-min read

From Cosmopolitan

“You can bang your head against the wall and try to find a relationship or you can say screw it and just go out and have sex like a man,” these were the words first uttered by Samantha Jones, played by Kim Cattrall, as she barrelled onto screens in the pilot episode of Sex and the City in the summer of 1998. With a wry smile and a clink of her Cosmopolitan an icon was born.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones was a ‘New York inspiration’. Problematic plotlines aside, who wouldn’t be influenced by an unapologetic, sex-positive, successful public relations executive who doesn't care what anyone else thinks?

So, in light of the news that Samantha Jones won’t be returning to screens for the Sex and the City reboot And Just Like That, here’s a look back at the best pearls of wisdom from the character who taught us that getting married is so cliché.

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

“Sweetheart, you can’t go listening to every f*cking little voice that runs through your head. You’ll go nuts”

Let’s be honest, without Samantha, Carrie would be forever sat by her answer machine over analysing emotionless messages from Big; Charlotte would be home alone with her vibrator every night, and Miranda would still be eating cake out of the bin. Worry and self-loathing will get you nowhere - sometimes you need to go out and have fun instead.

“I’m a try-sexual, I’ll try anything once”

Essentially, be adventurous. While we may have been robbed of a 2021 Samantha Jones update, it’s not hard to predict she'd probably have every dating app on the market downloaded, a camera roll filled with dick pics, and maybe even an OnlyFans account. From sex swings to seducing a monk, Samantha was completely fearless.

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

“F*ck me badly once, shame on you. F*ck me badly twice, shame on me”

For Samantha, sex was always a pursuit of pleasure. She wasn’t an object to be used by a man but an equal partner who was also in the pursuit of a loud and long climax.

"Why don't you go f*ck yourself because I won't be doing it again"

It’s easy to get stuck in a relationship rut. After all, having someone to spoon throughout the winter is undeniably great. But Samantha Jones refused to ignore bad behaviour and settle for the romantic security that society said she should want.

“I love you too, Richard, but I love me more”

Vain? Never. Self-loving? Absolutely. Samantha Jones puts herself before everything and anyone. With Samantha’s high opinion of herself came even higher standards for men and she wasn’t afraid to remind other women what they should and shouldn’t stand for: “If he misses you, he’ll call. If he wants you, he’ll say it. And if he cares, he’ll show it. But if not, he can’t be worth your time.” Preach.

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

“The right guy is an illusion. Start living your lives”

Samantha Jones remained Samantha Jones no matter who was on top of, beneath, or behind her. Romance is as changeable as the weather, so there’s no point altering your personality for every single date. Remember when Carrie became a stoner for Wade? You can’t pair Manolo Blahniks with sweatpants.

"If I worried what every b*tch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house"

Ignore the judgement from others and judge yourself and those you love even less. Although unapologetically opinionated, Samantha is never preachy - there’s a reason she’s the one Carrie runs to when she needs to confess to her affair with Big. If you don’t cut yourself some slack, who will?

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

“I am harsh. I’m also demanding, stubborn, self-sufficient, and always right. In bed, at the office, and everywhere else”

There are some girl-boss types that rather than making you feel inspired, just make you feel inadequate. One of the best things about Samantha Jones is her awareness that she’s not perfect either. Yet, Smith Jerrod doesn’t love her in spite of her domineering personality - he loves her because of it. Take note.

“I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe - and kneel”

Samantha was always playing by her own rules. From her sex positivity to her honesty - we’re going to miss Samantha Jones.

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

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