Despite former president Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago case, Republicans still railed President Joe Biden after his personal lawyers found less than a dozen classified documents at the Penn Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement from his time as vice president. At this point, Jimmy Kimmel thinks the US needs to rethink national security protocols altogether.
“It’s alarming when you realize how much of our national security relies on old men keeping track of loose pages,” he said.
According to recent media reports Tuesday, US intelligence memos and briefing materials about Ukraine, Iran, and the United Kingdom are among the 10 classified documents. The documents were found in November, while the president’s attorneys were packing files to prepare to leave the office space. Upon finding the classified material, they immediately notified the National Archives.
Kimmel also acknowledged the litany of MAGA supporters salivating over this news.
“For the MAGA crowd, this is like Christmas and the McRib coming back at the same time,” the late night host joked, before cueing a montage of everyone from Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald Trump Jr. reacting to the news.
“He seems very proud of himself,” Kimmel said of Trump Jr. “They all were. And of course Daddy Donny moved in on this [news] like a bitch too.”
“When is the FBI going to raid the many homes of Joe Biden, perhaps even the White House? These documents were definitely not declassified,” Trump tweeted.
“It’s like his dream come true,” Kimmel mocked.
Kimmel went on to compare Trump and Biden’s situations side-by-side, outlining how the day that Biden’s documents were discovered, the National Archives took possession of them the next day, while Trump lied about having the dcouments, then refused to give them up, leaving the FBI with no choice but to raid his Mar-a-Lago mansion.
“But still, Republicans aren’t entirely wrong about this, we can’t have two sets of rules,” Kimmel said. “We can’t hold Trump accountable for leaving documents around and not Biden.”
Luckily, Kimmel has an idea.
“We need to get Joe Biden and Donald Trump in a cell together, have video cameras surveilling live on television 24 hours a day, we get Ryan Seacrest to host it, and we watch as they either tear each other apart or get along, and then maybe we will stop tearing each other apart and get along too,” Kimmel joked.
He doubled down: “It’s the only reasonable solution.”
Watch Kimmel’s full monologue here or in the embed above.