Jessica Simpson shares photo of herself at rock bottom before getting sober: 'I didn't love myself'

·Editor, Yahoo Entertainment
·3-min read

Jessica Simpson is reflecting on what led to her getting sober four years ago.

The singer and fashionista, 41, shared a photo from this day in 2017. It was the night after an infamous Halloween debacle, in which she drank all day and was too drunk to dress her kids in their costumes. That was what she has pinpointed as her rock bottom amid a battle with alcohol, leading to her friends staging an intervention and her retiring the glitter cup of booze she used to drink from all day.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 22: Jessica Simpson attends Create & Cultivate Los Angeles at Rolling Greens Los Angeles on February 22, 2020 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images)
Jessica Simpson reflects on the personal pain she was in before getting sober in 2017. (Photo: Amy Sussman/Getty Images)

"This person in the early morning of Nov 1, 2017 is an unrecognizable version of myself," she wrote of the photo in which she truly doesn't look like herself. 

She said, "I had so much self discovery to unlock and explore. I knew in this very moment I would allow myself to take back my light, show victory over my internal battle of self respect and brave this world with piercing clarity."

The Dukes of Hazzard star said "to do this, I needed to stop drinking alcohol because it kept my mind and heart circling in the same direction — and quite honestly I was exhausted. I wanted to feel the pain so I could carry it like a badge of honor. I wanted to live as a leader does and break cycles to advance forward — never looking back with regret and remorse over any choice I have made and would make for the rest of my time here within this beautiful world."

Simpson wrote that she "can't believe it has been [four] yrs! It feels like maybe 2. I think that is a good thing. Ha. There is so much stigma around the word alcoholism or the label of an alcoholic. The real work that needed to be done in my life was to actually accept failure, pain, brokenness, and self sabotage. The drinking wasn't the issue. I was. I didn't love myself. I didn’t respect my own power. Today I do. I have made nice with the fears and I have accepted the parts of my life that are just sad. I own my personal power with soulful courage. I am wildly honest and comfortably open. I am free."

Simpson detailed her addiction, also to pills, in her 2020 memoir Open Book. She wrote about that Halloween 2017 incident, saying she woke up and started drinking, prior to a 7:30 a.m. event at her daughter's school and continued all day. She and husband Eric Johnson hosted a family-friendly Halloween party that night for friends, but as Simpson's team got her ready — in her Willie Nelson outfit — she was completely wasted. When it came to getting daughter Maxwell and their son Ace into their costumes — as a cowboy and a princess — Simpson was too intoxicated to help.

The incident left her too guilt-ridden to face her kids in the morning. Before she went to bed, she took an Ambien and slept in because she was afraid to see them, fearing she disappointed them. She said she hid until they left for school and then drank some more.

Simpson's closest friends — who were worried about her after the Halloween party — came to her house and staged an intervention. Simpson turned to a team of doctors to help her fight her addiction with one telling her that her life was in danger over her dependency.

Simpson said Johnson, a former football player, was a huge support and gave up alcohol too in solidarity. The pair welcomed their third child, Birdie, in 2019.

Simpson also shared a fun family photo of this year's festivities with her family.

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