Jay Shetty and Radhi Devlukia Say Going Through 'Stressful, Uncomfortable Things' Together Solidified Their Marriage (Exclusive)

The couple, who have been married since 2016, spoke to PEOPLE for their Gap Holiday campaign

Jay Shetty and Radhi Devlukia know that a good marriage takes hard work.

The pair, who star in this year’s Gap Holiday campaign together, are simultaneously navigating their relationship and their increasingly public life between their various businesses, podcasts and book projects.

“I think one of the things that has helped is that it may have grown a bit, but it hasn't changed,” says Devlukia, 33, of her marriage to Shetty. “Our foundations, we try to keep exactly the same. The connections that we have are based on the same things. We've built our relationship on a spiritual platform. That's how we first connected.”

Devlukia, who is a wellness expert and soon-to-be cookbook author, met Shetty in 2013 when he was a practicing monk, long before he became an author and the host of the popular podcast On Purpose, where he interviews celebrities.

Related: Former Monk Jay Shetty and Jada Pinkett Smith Tackle the Real Meaning of the Words 'I Love You'

The couple married three years later, and Shetty, 36, says learning how to be a good partner came as a sort of baptism by fire when he and Devlukia checked off a lot of major life milestones shortly after their wedding.

“For me, I would say that I think it's when you're accelerating as a couple in any field of your life, I actually think it forces you to accelerate your connection. What I mean by that is, in 2016, we got married, changed jobs, moved countries, and moved our home all within three months. And that's a lot,” he says.

“I think that pressured us to really figure out how to operate together as a couple in a very intense period of time, as opposed to, often, you kind of wouldn't get that intensity if you didn't go through all of that together. So, I think big changes force big awareness," he adds.

Still, Shetty wants to be clear that he and Devlukia aren’t without their flaws, and they’ve had to work at their relationship just like everyone else.

“Now, that doesn't mean we're perfect, or we've figured it out, or it's like we don't have challenges. We have all of those things,” he explains. “But I think we had to quickly have a heightened self sense of communication and awareness in a way that maybe could have taken us 10 years. We had to do it within a couple of years, because we were just going through so many stressful, uncomfortable things.”

On top of managing so many different and major life moments, the couple has also had to learn how to combat the negativity that can seep into their lives since their days are so public.

For Devlukia, facing the online haters — who speculate about everything from the state of the couple’s marriage to their lives as individuals — has been a challenge.

“I found it difficult, if I'm completely honest, but Jay has been, from the beginning, whether it's to do with people in our families or our friends, to people online now, he's just always been so good at bringing back perspective. I get more upset than he does,” Devkukia says. “When I see things about him, I'm like, 'How dare they?' because I know what he's like as a person, and I've lived with him day in, day out."

What helps, Devlukia says, is remembering to “focus on the big,” and reminding herself of her own purpose and intentions.

“If someone else misinterprets that, or misunderstands it, that's not in my control. But I have to focus on what is in my control, versus trying to change other people's opinion of me. I think that takes up useless energy,” she says. “So yeah, I find it difficult, but I think I've started learning how to manage that so that it doesn't consume me too much.”

Related: Radhi Devlukia-Shetty's First Cookbook 'JoyFull' Will Detail How She 'Transformed' Her Relationship with Food

Shetty takes a similar approach — he knows people will always have their “perceptions,” but he grounds himself in the reality that relationships are challenging sometimes, and that’s ok.

“I think in the beginning, there were lots of people like, ‘Oh my God. Couple goals, relationship goals.’ And we'd always be like, ‘Well, wait a minute. We just talked about the fight we had this week,'" he muses. "And then often, it's the other way, where it's like, ‘Okay. Well, maybe they're not [goals]’  and I think the truth is because we don't subscribe to being perfect, and we know we're imperfect individually and collectively, I don't worry so much about it. It's reality that relationships are tough. Relationships are challenging, and you're always figuring it out, and you're always navigating it.”

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Ultimately, Shetty feels “confident” in knowing where he and Devlukia both stand in their relationship, and that strong foundation makes dealing with all of the “outside” noise a lot easier.

"If you let everyone have a say on your relationship, then you don't have a relationship with the person," he says. "You have a relationship with all those people. So I think that's, hopefully, something that everyone can take something away from."

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