Unapologetically is a Yahoo Life series in which people get the chance to share how they live their best life — out loud and in color, without fear or regret — looking back at the past with a smile and embracing the future with excited anticipation.
Take a peek at Jana Kramer’s Instagram account, and you’ll find that the star is an open book. The singer, actress and mom of two has been candid about everything from her very public divorce to getting breast implants and feeling more confident in her skin. Yet with such honesty comes a frustrating pitfall: the shamers.
“Honestly, one of the things that makes me sad is that the main comments and the main amount of trolls are all women,” the 38-year-old, who is currently the Unisom brand partner for the drug-free Simple Slumbers Midnight Raspberry Gummies, tells Yahoo Life. “They're other women tearing down other women, other moms tearing down other moms, saying things like, ‘I can’t believe you would wear that to your kid's soccer game,’ or this or that. I would never tear down another mom — it’s so sad when I look at these comments … it makes me really sad because I'm like, ‘Can't we lift other moms up?’”
One thing Kramer is unapologetic about? The fact that, despite what the mommy shamers say, she’s a great parent. She currently shares custody of daughter Jolie, 6, and son Jace, 3, with her ex-husband and former Whine Down podcast partner Mike Caussin.
“Even from the get-go, when I would have mommy shamers on me about buying them canned foods, I was like, ‘I’m not going to apologize. I’m a great mom. I’m a good singer, I’m a good actress, but I’m a great mom,’” she says. “Sure, there are days when I fall a little short, but at the end of the day, I showed up, and I’m going to continue to show up. I’m going to apologize to my kids if I fall flat, but to the people behind their computers, I’m never going to apologize. At the end of the day, I’m a great mom.”
The One Tree Hill alum is also not ashamed to share the body that she’s “proud of” online. When it comes to being open about plastic surgery or any cosmetic enhancements, Kramer says it’s up to the individual to decide what’s right for them.
“I'm probably never going to do lip injections, but maybe one day I might, I don't know — like when I get older, who knows,” she says. “But I never want to be judged or feel like I have to say, ‘Oh, guys, I did this and that.’”
She adds, “I did my boobs and I talked about it because for me, it was something that really helped my confidence after having two kids. I didn't want to have to be ashamed of sharing that.”
Kramer has been public about the end of her marriage to Caussin, which followed accusations of infidelity on his part. Kramer recently appeared on Red Table Talk to discuss moving on from betrayal, and has been candid on her own social media platforms and the Whine Down podcast about how she’s healing.
“There of course were a lot of comments of ‘Oh my God, we get it, get over it.’ I think people just kind of saw the headlines of me talking about my ex again — but it wasn't about my ex. It was about forgiveness and how to move on,” she notes. “I think it's hard when I do talk about it. People just think I'm talking about him. Yes, he is a part of my path, and a part of my story, but it's really not about him anymore — it's about how I've gotten past infidelity, how I've been able to move on, and how I've been able to go into the next chapter.”
She notes that while it’s true that Caussin is a part of how she has learned to “move on from resentment and anger and hurt, “it's not really about him.”
“I want to help other people go, ‘OK, she was here and now she's in a better place, but yeah, she still struggles and it still makes her angry that she's not with her kids 100% of the time,’” Kramer explains.
The actress, who is next starring in the Christmas movie Steppin’ Into the Holiday opposite Mario Lopez, is two years shy of 40 — but she’s not nervous about that milestone birthday.
“I have been vocal about, you know, getting Botox from time to time,” she says of her approach to aging in the public eye. “It's all about mindset. I'm nearing 40 and and I'm embracing the knowledge and the insight that I have as I get older.”
One way that Kramer is ensuring she ages well is by maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
“For aging, you have to sleep well, you have to take care of yourself and workout,” the TV star notes, adding that meditation is also a big part of her well-being.
She adds that as a “single working mama, it can be challenging to find time for yourself,” which is why she really prioritizes her nighttime routine.
“When I have those tough days, and when I have a lot on my mind, and I need to get that good sleep and wake up feeling refreshed like that, I take the Simple Slumbers,” she says. “I get that rested sleep, but I also wake up feeling refreshed — that way I can show up and be the best mom I can be, the best boss lady… I think setting that in place is a good thing, just to start your day.”
For Kramer, well-being means finding “peace” in her life.
“I know in order to be a good mom, a good partner — hopefully one day — and a good boss, I have to take care of myself and I have to show up for myself too," she explains. "I think we're always showing up for other people that we forget about ourselves. To give yourself that peace and that grace and that investment goes a long way.”
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