Jamie Otis says butterflies and constant passion 'isn't a long-lasting love'

Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner got married on a reality show nearly a decade ago.

Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner got married on a reality show nearly a decade ago. (Instagram/@jamienotis)

Jamie Otis is reflecting on her decade-long marriage to Doug Hehner as the couple approaches their 10-year anniversary.

On Wednesday, the "Married at First Sight" star shared an Instagram reel of herself folding laundry in their bedroom when Hehner came in to give her a kiss.

Otis paired the video with a caption on what love means to her.

The 37-year-old began by saying the reality TV couple is going on a full decade of being married.

"My good friend/mentor, Ruth, is going on 30 years of marriage. She recently told me, 'Love is more about sacrifice than it is about butterflies and romance.' That's really stuck with me," she admitted.

Otis continued saying that when she and Hehner got married, she had "no idea" what a healthy couple looked like. The two committed to each other on "Married at First Sight" without even knowing each other's first names, which is "kinda crazy," she now admits.

"I think we all get lost in the fairytale of 'love.' We want butterflies and weak knees and constant passion... But that isn't a long-lasting love," Otis wrote.

"A long-lasting love is folding the laundry together. Cooking and having dinner together every night. It's sitting down together to talk and really listening to each other."

Otis reflected on the "many" rough patches the couple has gone through over the past decade, including losing their first son together, debt and postpartum depression, adding that therapy has helped them through it.

It's nice to have someone to go through life with.Jamie Otis

Now, Otis is assuring others who love their partner but feel lost that they're not alone in this.

"If you've been stuck in your relationship not feeling the 'spark,' you're not alone. And that doesn't mean your relationship is bad. We've fallen in and out of love so many times... I genuinely think it's normal now," she wrote.

Her advice is to find "someone you trust. Someone you genuinely enjoy being around," even if the "gushy" feeling doesn't last.

"It's nice to have someone to go through life with," she concluded.

Hehner chimed in the comments to echo, "There is no such thing as a perfect couple, but there are people that are perfect for each other, and that's all you can ever ask for."

He recommended finding "someone that will fight for marriage and find ways to get over the hurdles in life."

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