Advertisement

I've discovered the secret to being a perfect holiday host

host - laurie noble
host - laurie noble

Who knows who may descend on you this summer – so here are a few dos and don’ts

With many summer holidays in tatters this August, we’re having to embrace a plucky make-do-and-mend approach to travel, stitching together trips from home swaps and family visits. My parents have driven from Belfast to Yorkshire to see my brother and his family, and this week, further south to stay with me in Kent.

Meanwhile, my brother Peter, an anaesthetist in the ICU at Bradford Royal Infirmary, is reconsidering taking his wife and kids for a two-week trip to France, in case quarantine laws change overnight (as with Spain) and he’s kept out of the wards on his return. As a Plan B – or perhaps I’m a Plan D, I’ll accept that – I’ve offered them a holiday at my seaside flat in Kent. I imagine this degree of holiday chaos and confusion is standard-issue across much of the UK right now, and we’re all having to get creative.

I’m lucky enough to live in Margate, a resort town that, with its freshly pedestrianised pavements, pandemic-friendly al fresco cafés and miles of golden-sand beaches, is doing a pretty strong rendition of the south of France this summer. So as the nationwide game of holiday roulette gets riskier and riskier, with charter flights grounded, quarantine rules changing and infection rates climbing across much of Europe, I’m looking at a summer of hosting travelling friends on their have-a-go holidays.

I wish I could say I’m a natural hostess, and as a travel writer who cares fervently and sweatily about people having a lovely time on their travels, you’d expect me to be. But I’m a professional holiday taker, not a natural giver. In fact, I’m a secret introvert, and one of those nervy Irish women who frets that guests aren’t having a good enough time, that my tea is weak, that my chat is weaker, and that everyone has noticed strange books or DVDs on my shelves and is gossiping about me. It’s a feeling of discomfort I can date back to my eighth birthday, so I can’t even blame old age.

But this week, with my parents in Margate for their grand old summer holiday 2020, I’m honing my hosting skills. Here are my dos and don’ts for having friends and family over without winding up feeling like you need a two-week retreat in Bali to recover.

DO selectively self-isolate

My flat is a small one-bed, and being relegated to my own sofa while my parents take my bedroom, for a week, would turn me into Basil Fawlty in less than 48 hours. So I’m splitting my week between the spare rooms of two kind friends who live nearby. As I’m only in their homes to sleep, it’s not a major imposition (and anyway, impositions are fine in 2020) and having an hour to myself in the mornings and evenings will make all the difference.

DON’T abandon your routine

It takes a healthy dose of selfishness and rudeness to abandon guests and steal off for a Zoom yoga class. But I’ve learnt the hard way that these seemingly selfish routines are precisely what will keep me sane. Nobody cares if I vanish for a couple of hours; they do care if I’m snappy and stressed all day.

DO delegate holiday planning duties

Even regular activities such as visiting a museum or eating out generally require a bit of research now, and potentially a complicated booking process. There’s no need to do all the online admin yourself. Yes, Margate is my town, but Google is everyone’s domain.

DO bring out your own bucket list

Last summer, I showed so many friends around Margate’s Turner Contemporary that I knew the exhibits better than most gallery staff. This year, I see hosting family as a chance to work through my list of local spots I’ve never made it to. This way it feels like I’m having a holiday, too.

DO plot a project

Have you ever noticed that some of your best conversations take place over a shared activity, rather than sitting across a table? A psychologist friend introduced me to this concept of gentle “side-by-side” interaction versus face-to-face, and I’ve taken this and run with it, using it as a brilliant excuse to put my parents to work in my garden this week. So by the end of the weekend, my parents will have had a holiday in Margate – and I’ll have a revamped garden. Remember, responsible travel is all about giving back to the local community…