As you've probably heard, TikTok is teetering on the brink of a ban. Of all the dizzying crises happening in our country right now — from devastating natural disasters to social unrest to, duh, a global pandemic — the loss of a video app ranks low on my this-causes-me-crippling-anxiety scale. Still I'll be sad if we'll truly have to see it go.
The app's retro roller skaters and creepy cosplayers will be missed, but what I'll mourn most is the Hebridean Baker. He first popped up on my FYP a few months ago, spouting helpful tips for shaping biscuits in a voice as syrupy sweet as his signature sticky plum crumble cake. I had no idea then what a Hebridean was, but I was hooked. (For the similarly uninitiated, a quick Google search reveals that the Hebrides are an island chain off the west coast of mainland Scotland. This checks out, given his recent kilt tutorial and very thick accent.)
The Hebridean Baker has a scruffy Paul Bunyan beard, a knack for kneading, and that ASMR voice that sounds how I imagine a warm shortbread cookie might talk if it came to life. The effect is very Scottish-sexy, very Outlander. Plus he's got a cute Westie that accompanies him to pick blackberries for his homemade jelly. As it turns out, watching a dog-loving hot Scot bake bread is the ultimate antidote to these dark times. Please Mr. Hebridean Baker, if you're reading this, consider moving over to Triller if TikTok goes down.
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