Harry Maguire and Lisandro Martinez have ‘private chat’; all is not well at Arsenal

Harry Maguire and Lisandro Martinez with Man Utd teammates Credit: Alamy
Harry Maguire and Lisandro Martinez with Man Utd teammates Credit: Alamy

What could Man Utd defenders Harry Maguire and Lisandro Martinez have discussed in a ‘private chat’? Is it defending? Plus, shadows cast at Arsenal…

 

Speaking volumes of sh*t again
A couple of weeks ago, Mediawatch spotted that somebody at Mirror Sport has decided that ‘speaking volumes’ is a recipe for clicks a-plenty, even though ‘speaks volumes’ clearly does not mean what they actually believe.

According to the Cambridge dictionary, ‘if something speaks volumes, it makes an opinion, characteristic, or situation very clear without the use of words’.

And yet in the last few days alone…

‘Steven Gerrard abruptly interrupting interview speaks volumes on Jurgen Klopp’s future’ – said ‘resurfaced’ interview did include words.

‘Gareth Southgate’s crucial dilemmas speak volumes about England’s World Cup chances’ – better as dilemmas do not include the use of words. Still nonsensical but nevertheless better.

‘Casemiro’s phone call to Man Utd chief after crushing defeat speaks volumes about him’ – we suspect the phone call used words. Otherwise a very odd phone call.

‘Mohamed Salah claim speaks volumes as Thiago highlights his two major attributes’ – It’s literally Thiago saying Mo Salah is quite good. Using words.

And now…

‘Harry Maguire and Lisandro Martinez private chat speaks volumes about Man Utd ambitions’

First, it’s a chat so it involves words. And secondly, even if you ignore our pedantry about the words and sh*t, it speaks nothing at all.

This is what Maguire said about a ‘private chat’ which – it turns out – was just a conversation. A really f***ing anodyne conversation.

“As a centre-back, and a centre-back who likes to defend the box, it’s really – the last 20 minutes [against West Ham ] – are really enjoyable.

“Although they are really tense, it’s something that me and Licha [Martinez] were speaking about, they’re the moments you want to play for.”

Nothing about ‘ambitions’, just two defenders who say they enjoy defending. It ‘speaks volumes’ that this is apparently news.

 

On your Marqs
The problem with Arsenal being top of the Premier League table and being Really Quite Good is that there are few negative stories around. And negativity sells.

But thankfully the Mirror website are here to suggest that things are not all rainbows and power ballads at Arsenal.

‘Martin Keown’s Bukayo Saka comparison backfires as Arsenal weigh up exit decision’

Seasoned readers of Mediawatch will know that this is a classic of the genre; cutely suggesting that Arsenal are ‘weighing up exit decision’ about Bukayo Saka when they are clearly doing nothing of the sort.

What they are doing is ‘weighing up exit decision’ about Marquinhos, a 19-year-old winger who was not signed for the first team and could now leave in January on loan.

And obviously this would leave Keown with rotten egg on his face after he compared the Brazilian’s performance against FC Zurich as “like Saka in that position, it’s almost a copycat performance”.

How embarrassed he must be now after a 19-year-old not bought for first-team football has not played much first-team football.

‘Well, while there is still time for Marquinhos to fulfil Keown’s lofty expecations – he may not enjoy as clear a pathway to Arsenal stardom as Saka. This is because manager Mikel Arteta is reportedly weighing up the idea of letting the 19-year-old winger leave, albeit on loan, in the upcoming January transfer window.’

Marquinhos came from Brazil at the age of 19 just a few months ago; Saka has been at Arsenal since the age of seven. Of course he’s not going to ‘enjoy as clear a pathway’.

Oh and Mikel Arteta literally said this in the summer: “We’re going to keep him here for another few months and make sure he establishes himself in the club and the team. After that, we’ll see what’s the best move for him.”

A few months later, he might go on loan. Which sounds like it might have always been the plan. And it is a plan that worked pretty damn well for William Saliba.

 

WHO THE HELL IS IT?
Meanwhile…

‘Nicklas Bendtner looks unrecognisable as ex-Arsenal star shows off new look’ – Mirror website.

It genuinely could not look more like Nicklas Bendtner. He is just wearing a hat. Which is only a cunning disguise if you are trying to fool a blind three-year-old.

 

Bare bones
We don’t often (ever) venture into Sussex World for our Mediawatch spots but this is a doozy…

‘Another injury blow for Mikel Arteta and Arsenal ahead of Brighton Carabao Cup clash’

Another?! That’s now TWO players missing.

 

Nice work
‘Britain’s richest man Sir Jim Ratcliffe rules OUT buying Liverpool or Man Utd… and reveals club he’s piling cash into’ – The Sun.

Is it the club he already owns (Nice)?

Yes, it’s the club he already owns (Nice).

Still, you got Liverpool and Man Utd into one headline and everybody knows there’s gold in them there hills.

 

Sou, Sou forgetful
Every f***er says that James Maddison should be in the England squad but Graeme Souness went further on Talksport, claiming that he should be in the starting XI v Iran.

And we absolutely should not doubt anything that Souness says even though he…

a) initially tried to name 12 players and b) picked James Maddison in central midfield and entirely forgot about Jude Bellingham.

 

Swot
‘Gareth Southgate’s ‘already finalised’ 26-man England squad for Qatar World Cup’ – Daily Star.

You mean he’s not just going to draw names out of a hat on Thursday morning?

 

When Carra does his own Mediawatch…

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