We wish it well.
The verdict is in: Gwyneth Paltrow's viral ski trial is becoming a musical.
The Pleasance, a theater in London, has announced Gwyneth Goes Skiing, a satirical stage adaptation based on the actress and lifestyle guru's 2016 ski-slope collision with retired optometrist Terry Sanderson and the litigation that followed it this past March, with Paltrow emerging victorious in the lawsuit.
Awkward Productions, which previously staged Diana: The Untold & Untrue Story, is behind the production, which will run from Dec. 13 through Dec. 23.
The musical's official synopsis reads: "She’s the Goop-founding, door-sliding, Shakespeare-in-loving, consciously uncoupling Hollywood superstar. He’s a retired optometrist from Utah. In 2016, they went skiing. On the slopes of Deer Valley, their worlds collided, and so did they — literally. Ouch. Seven years later in 2023, they went to court. Double ouch. This is their story. Kind of. Not really."
Described as a story of "love, betrayal, skiing, and (somehow) Christmas," Gwyneth Goes Skiing will star Linus Karp as Paltrow and Joseph Martin as Sanderson, and will feature original music by Leland, who has worked with the likes of Cher and Troye Sivan.
"We are Gooped at the amazing reception for Gwyneth Goes Skiing," Karp and Martin said in a joint statement to EW. "We're having so much fun putting the show together. It's going to be beyond ridiculous and absolutely wild. See you in court."
Representatives for Paltrow did not immediately respond to EW's request for comment.
Sanderson sued Paltrow for $300,000 in damages after they crashed into each other at Deer Valley Resort in Utah in 2016, claiming the "full-body hit" resulted in broken ribs and a "loss of enjoyment of life."
The Goop founder countersued for a symbolic $1, plus additional lawyer fees. The viral trial, along with Paltrow's testimony, was heavily memed. The jury ultimately determined the Oscar winner was not at fault for the collision.
As for the musical adaptation, we wish it well.
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