Good pay, fulfilling job, family time: You can only pick two

SEPTEMBER 9 — Last June, a report was released which ranked Malaysia as the second worst country for work-life balance among 60 of the highest gross domestic product (GDP) nations globally.

Me, and many others, weren’t entirely surprised. Some time ago, I came across this formula represented in the article title:

1) Earning an enviable income. 2) Doing work you love. 3) Substantial time with loved ones.

These three are next to impossible to achieve in today’s society. At most, you can have only two.

A dedicated housewife sacrifices earning an income but she loves what she does in the home and gives herself to her family.

A high-flyer earns T10 figures but may not enjoy the “No Downtime” lifestyle, not to mention the fact that he’s never home.

The pastor or activist is doing what he absolutely believes in and loves, but his bank account may suffer somewhat.

I mean, honestly, how many people do you know who are thriving with five to six figure incomes, love what they do, yet also have loads of time to be with family and join them for dinners and outings virtually every night and weekend?

The only ones I can think of are independent trainers who do a few sessions a week, and maybe the occasional (very) senior director who attends a few meetings a month and gets a hefty attendance fee.

For the rest of us we must, well, pick only two (and for some, it’s just one or even none).

As everyone and their second cousin knows, lucrative pay (at whatever level you’re at, most certainly when you’re starting out on the corporate ladder) usually comes with a price. That price is usually time. The company is paying you big bucks, so in return you give them your body, your life, your soul.

This is Asia after all. Not Germany or Australia.

Is work-life balance, coupled with a good salary, next to impossible to achieve in today’s society? — Picture by Shafwan Zaidon

I personally know a few people who said, with a tinge of sadness, that their own very young children didn’t recognise who they were on account of their time away from home.

There are also the high-profile projects which take a mum or dad away overseas for months on end. Most infamously are engineering projects where a consultant can be living offshore for almost a year or more and be earning unbelievable amounts of money and be practically cut off from the world (let alone their families).

On a brighter note, I once knew this software consultant who flew around South-east Asia every day yet somehow managed to work out a deal with his company not to stay overnight in these countries. He would always fly back to see his wife and kids. Amazing.

Of course, things are smoother if you love your job.

Paradoxically, people who are passionate about their work obviously spend more time in the office (duh) and thus less time at home.

The point is that the demands of (and love for?) work naturally subtracts from time spent with family.

Alternatively, there are some very caring and passionate folks in NGOs’ who are totally living the life they want, helping people for a less-than-enviable salary yet also ensuring they take lots of time to be with their families.

Even in a non-NGO context, many people make the decision to not join the rat race, preferring to work quietly, fulfil everything by 6pm-ish and go home while the sun is still up.

These folks give up all pursuit of big bucks for something they believe in or priorities they consider bigger than building their bank accounts.

Are there people who earn a lot (or enough) and get to spend time with their families but hate their jobs?

I think this category is rare. I suspect many middle managers in sectors like education, government and so on would fit this mold. These folks appreciate their pay but treat the job purely as a job with minimum “passion” if at all. Perhaps many of them are scouring Linked-In or JobStreet every other day. Or maybe not.

It’s sad if the only reason we’re going to the office is to get our bread and butter. Then again, for many people as long as they get to see their families every evening, that’s more than good enough.

Maybe the saddest position in life is to strive to provide for our families in a job we hate that also takes away time from the ones we love.

Which category would you put yourself in? If nothing else, maybe it’s critical to remind ourselves that we should be the ones doing the picking —even if our choices are limited to only two.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.