The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (May 25-31)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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I’m done drinking, unless my friends want me to, or I’m out of town or if the weather is nice is the only exceptions
— Ҝ (@__kdash_) May 26, 2024
when i say "if i recall" or "if i remember correctly" i am being polite about being right. i remember and i am correct.
— Lena (@banalplay) May 26, 2024
it’s the beginning of summer baby you know what that means. time to bring six almost empty bottles of sunscreen from last year to the beach
— Sophie Kleeman (@sophiekleeman) May 26, 2024
Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”
— Alice Etches (@aliceetches) May 28, 2024
Bisexuals should do a gender reveal party when introducing their partner to their friends
— Chloe 🦋 (@ChloeNumberIII) May 27, 2024
Them: Legal said it was fine
Me: no, Legal said we could be FINED— mads👩🏻💻cyber bae (@inreGray) May 29, 2024
the way they’re selling paper towels should be illegal you can’t just keep writing 6 paper towel rolls are 14 paper towel rolls I’m sick of being jerked around
— sweatpants cher🔸 (@House_Feminist) May 26, 2024
If I say “popular girl handwriting” do you immediately have a visual of what I speak?
— Holly Stallcup (@HollyStallcup) May 26, 2024
My granny is hilarious 💀 pic.twitter.com/z3joI7TXbl
— Pree (@diabolicalpree) May 26, 2024
losing friends left and right to the pickleball epidemic
— maha (@mahaaaay) May 26, 2024
who you are when the airline loses your luggage is your true self
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 27, 2024
today my therapist said "carrying that shame isn't serving" (implied "you") as in it isn't benefitting me. but due to the specific brain worms i have it made me laugh interpreting it in a gay person way. like thats so true, shame is kind of antithetical to serving
— ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა (@CBD42O) May 28, 2024
Celebrities I am begging u to stop launching beverage lines and start getting serious. Where are the railroads? The concert halls? The amassing of steel? The bribing of senators? Feels like I’m dealing with a bunch of amateurs.
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) May 29, 2024
this is what my 26 year old self feels like when i listen to olivia rodrigo honestly pic.twitter.com/1lIjgTLmeV
— caitlin (@cxitling98) May 30, 2024
i think crocs and doc marten should collab and put out a limited edition croc marten but what do i know about capitalism.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) May 29, 2024
*at my surprise party* “soo you guys like have a groupchat without me??"
— Soup (@soupinthering) May 25, 2024
Yesterday a man approached me as I was leaving the gym and said “ I thought I’d do you a favor by talking to you” …. I told him he been listening to too many podcasts put my headphones back on and went about my day.
— BBL LEX (@gymgirllex) May 29, 2024
do you have a normal job or would an honest answer to "what's going on at work?" ruin literally any dinner party you attend
— Hannah (@hannnahmmarie) May 29, 2024
Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) May 25, 2024
Me eating:
My white shirt: let me taste it. pic.twitter.com/CfwAznNpV8— Jenni (@hashjenni) May 26, 2024
when a Black person says “when you get a chance” they mean right then.
— 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕟™ (@docsloosechange) May 26, 2024
Sometimes I think I’m dying and then I just remember I’m a 35 year old that went to bed too late
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 29, 2024