The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (April 27-May 3)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter.
grabbing dinner w ur friend is like omg these fries r epic. also I cried myself to sleep last night. Can u pass the ketchup. You won’t believe who’s crawled back into my DMs. Are are you down to try this new spot tom? I hate him. The weather was so nice today
— 💡 (@NourFarouk1) April 28, 2024
Do you panic that you’re choosing the wrong answer during an eye exam or are you normal.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 28, 2024
Sometimes I will do a very simple self-care thing like putting lotion on my hands before bed and be like "that was so easy, I will do this every day" and then forget that I even have hands for the next 6 years.
— Ꮍᴀᴇʟ (@elle91) May 1, 2024
i'm gonna join the cicadas this summer and scream
— erika (@yeeeerika) May 1, 2024
So funny to me whenever a friend asks me “Can I just be a bitch for a second?” like do u even know me at all OF COURSE u can be a bitch for a second take as many seconds as u need I’d literally love nothing more
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) April 28, 2024
sharing an amazon prime account with your best friend is so entertaining because WHY IS THIS IN THE CART pic.twitter.com/iQS7XLWVGk
— nikki bikki (@nikkiii_x0) May 1, 2024
me: dating is hard
me on a date: there was a dog in your dating profile pic why are they not here— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 30, 2024
movie theater effect is very real and scary because i could watch the most shit movie in theaters and be like hmm.. maybe a 4 star
— emy (@theamazingemy) April 28, 2024
Every time I walk home drunk I get really emotional about how beautiful liverpool is. Tried to capture it I feel like you can get the gist pic.twitter.com/WZCDJHeaiv
— ciara🍯 (@ciaraelliss) April 28, 2024
I love saying “sounds good” at work and don’t shit sound good
— betel (@betelreloaded) May 1, 2024
every single time i use my oven my i remember that story of the girl being over at a guy’s house and him baking something for her and saving “i hate this part” before sticking his bare hands in to pull it out
— brecht apologist (@madisontayt_) April 28, 2024
The secret to work life balance is generational wealth
— Kay (@KetakiPole) April 28, 2024
Pls don’t try to get to know me i am better as a concept
— S (@peaaachesxx) April 28, 2024
was walking the dogs and saw a car with a woman and a screaming toddler and suddenly a guy ran out from the corner store yelling I GOT EM I GOT EM while holding a bag of goldfish crackers over his head and I got the hell outta the way because I know an emergency when I see one
— shauna (@goldengateblond) April 29, 2024
The British really got it right with knackered. Just like yeah. That’s the feeling.
— AB (@AlannaBennett) April 28, 2024
do you think bus drivers get scared driving their bus at night when everyones gotten off. i would
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) April 28, 2024
thank goodness it's raining so my laziness is justified, my nap is encouraged, and my gluttony is applauded
— Heaux Pro Boner (@alice_x_daniels) April 28, 2024
“the rat’s name isn’t ratatouille” is our generation’s "Frankenstein is the scientist" and I think that's beautiful
— sona (@swiftlydunphy) May 1, 2024
i’m going out with my friends later and so my mom hands me this 😭💗 pic.twitter.com/TNlnr7OOIo
— Antionette † (@ettesalveregina) April 27, 2024
i would never die in an animal attack i just know a bear would sense that i’m a friend
— clare (@sadderlizards) April 28, 2024
There was a show I wanted to start watching but I dont remember the name of it or what streaming service it was on or what it was about
— Jenny Doesnt Know (@HighlyIngenious) April 27, 2024
In my 20s I used to have a mustang and I never washed it so I called it the disgustang.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) April 28, 2024
[on a first date] so do you have any close friends from tennis boarding school?
— bald ann dowd (@ali_sivi) May 2, 2024
*me, looking for someone to have breakfast with* wanna be friends with benedicts?
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) April 29, 2024
my problem is I reward myself for not wasting money on a little treat by getting a little treat
— vision bored (@visionbored2) April 28, 2024
airdropping this to everyone else in jury duty pic.twitter.com/FRFVLfGByJ
— trash jones (@jzux) April 27, 2024
Watching Anyone But You and the idea of making a bunch of people travel to Australia for a wedding is so fucked up that I can barely pay attention to the rest of what’s happening
— bitsy von muffling (@DoctorPissPants) April 30, 2024
Riding high off of being informed by a friend that the stuffed animal I got her baby has become the baby’s favorite
I feel powerful and chosen— Alyssa 🌻 (@alyssaleann) April 30, 2024
I hate when I eat the last m&m in the bag without realising. Like, I needed to mentally prepare myself for that moment
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) April 29, 2024
ngl i doubt either of them could fix my computer https://t.co/TlJ9jJS2Op
— kate (@sensualitay) April 29, 2024
therapist: you seem manic
me: well it is monday— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 29, 2024
lost another friend today to half marathon training
— alli (@sonofalli) April 29, 2024
