Friends Grieve Mica Miller's Death and Share Their Own Uncertainty About Pastor's Wife's Suicide (Exclusive)

"It doesn't add up to me," one of them tells PEOPLE

Two close friends of Mica Miller, the wife of South Carolina pastor John-Paul Miller, are grieving — and reeling — after authorities said she killed herself late last month, which they personally feel doesn’t “add up.”

Mica's body was found at Lumber River State Park on April 27, the Robeson County, North Carolina, Sheriff's Office shared in a statement on Tuesday, May 7, pushing back on what officials called “conspiracy theories” swirling about her death.

The sheriff's office also said that investigators ruled her death a suicide "based on surveillance footage, interviews, physical evidence, and the examination of the North Carolina Medical Examiner’s Office."

Sheriff Burnis Wilkins said then that the investigation had “tugged on the hearts of people across the nation.”

Speaking with PEOPLE, a husband and wife who were close with Mica and saw her just days before she died say they are mourning the "amazing" woman they knew and sharing their uncertainty about what happened to her, despite investigators’ findings.

“It doesn't add up to me. Not from everything she said and not from who she was,” says the wife, who like her husband asked not to be quoted by name given the sensitivity of the case.

Related: Mica Miller's Suicide 'Is Quite Clear,' Police Say as They Push Back on Conspiracies Around Pastor's Wife's Death

The husband says the 30-year-old Mica was "full of adventure" and "light," reflecting on her generosity with her church community. 

"She was always giving out as much as she could for the church and for the people," the husband tells PEOPLE. "You'd see bags underneath her eyes because she was just always giving so much of her time and herself just pretty much to everyone else."

But the couple says her marriage to John-Paul was not healthy, echoing what officials said this week — that the couple was estranged and separated.

John-Paul was reportedly the pastor at a church in Myrtle Beach. Video shows him telling his congregation about Mica's death a day later, noting that it was "self-induced."

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“I’m just kind of going on adrenaline right now, so y’all pray for me and my kids and everybody,” he said then, going on to claim his wife had mental health issues.

But the friends who spoke with PEOPLE painted a different picture.

"She went back to him because of the church," the wife says. She called John-Paul the "worst narcissist" and accused him of having a "very twisted mind."

PEOPLE's efforts to reach John-Paul for comment have not been successful.

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"She was scared," the husband shares of Mica. "You could tell she was just scared about everything. She looked us in the eye and she said, 'I'm scared. I want to live.' " 

Recalling "those words" has driven him "crazy," the husband says. 

Yet the pair says they feel Mica had been getting better amid her crumbling marriage.

"She was being encouraged and loved and supported ... She had people that were there for her for whatever she needed, and she really turned a page," the wife says.

By the second weekend of March, the wife says that "change became evident in [Mica’s] life." The wife adds, "She started dreaming about her new life."

The couple says they were with Mica on April 25 at the beach, just two days before her death.

"I told her, I said, 'I'm so proud of you. You have come so far,' " the wife recalls. " 'I know you're still hurting, and I know it's hard still, but you really have come far. You see him for who he is. You are moving past him. You are making plans.' I told her, ' I am so proud of you.' "

"She said, 'You know what? I'm proud of myself too,' " the wife remembers. " 'I think I'm mentally okay.' She said, 'Some days are hard, but I have times where I get to see my friends and it's better.' "

Authorities have said that Mica was seen on a doorbell camera leaving her home in Myrtle Beach around 11:38 a.m. local time the day she died.

At about 3 p.m., she called 911 in Robeson County from North Carolina's Lumber River State Park and after arriving at the scene, investigators found her vehicle, officials said.

Soon after, an individual approached authorities and informed them he “had found a bag near the water edge with an identification belonging” to her, according to the sheriff’s office. Mica’s body was eventually found in the water.

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The wife in the couple who was close with Mica says that she didn't get the sense that Mica was "saying goodbye" or "that she no longer wanted to be there" during their time together on April 25.

The couple say they believe Mica is "in a better place now."

“But that her life was taken from her has been the hardest thing we've ever had to endure," according to the wife.

In their statement on May 7, the sheriff's office shared that they determined Mica’s husband was at an athletic event in Charleston, South Carolina, on the day of Mica's death. Authorities stated that neither he nor a woman he is "allegedly romantically involved with" were in North Carolina the night before and the day of Mica’s death.

John-Paul “was given the opportunity to attend” a meeting with police on May 7 but “indicated through his attorney that he would not come to North Carolina” to do so.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

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