Our favorite holidays are those that allow, nay, encourage us to consume borderline inappropriate amounts of candy. Luckily, one such day of celebration is around the corner: Easter. And to be honest, it may be the best holiday of all—you basically get to indulge in copious amounts of chocolate and sweets minus any of the work (hey, trick or treating is no joke). But before we dig into our pink-grassed basket, let’s order its contents from “no thank you” to “yassssss, please.” Here, every single Easter candy ranked from most polarizing to universal crowd-pleaser, so you don't waste your money on something no one in your family will eat. You’re welcome.
20. Marshmallow Peeps
Yeah, we said it. They’re cloying and insubstantial and the texture weirds us out—we rest our case.
19. Whoppers Robin Eggs
You’re not fooling us with your pastel candy shell and oblong shape, regular Whoppers. Go back to the movie theater where you belong.
18. Black Jelly Beans
Who did this to you? (For the record, we’ll give licorice jelly beans a pass…if you’re over the age of 80.)
17. Milk Chocolate Peeps
Try as they might, they’re really only marginally better than regular Peeps. That chocolate-y coating isn’t fooling anyone.
16. Easter Candy Corn
Leave Halloween and its waxy, tooth-hurting treat out of this. Call it bunny corn or call it pastel plastic; it’s just unwholesome.
15. Sweet Tart Chicks, Ducks and Bunnies
How many times do we have to say it? They. Taste. Like. Chalk. Cute baby animal shapes don’t change a thing.
14. Chocolate Marshmallow Eggs
They’re kinda like s’mores, but without the crackling fire, graham cracker, melty chocolate or toasted marshmallow. Interpret that as you wish.
13. Jordan Almonds
You either hate fun, or confused the occasion for a wedding and not a holiday sugar binge.
12. Bubble Gum Eggs
At least the packaging is cute. We can’t necessarily say the same for the sad, sickly sweet bubble gum inside.
11. Solid Chocolate Bunnies
Dare we say? It’s just too much chocolate. And then you’re left with a half-eaten headless bunny—haunting.
10. Jelly Beans
It’s basket filler. We’ll totally eat six handfuls…but it’s still basket filler.
9. Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Eggs
Ioa;vndjkanga sorry, we just fell asleep on the keyboard. These are inoffensive but a total snooze-fest.
8. Starburst Jelly Beans
Remember what we said about jelly beans? Those rules don’t apply to these little sugar nuggets, which are somehow a major upgrade.
7. Cadbury Caramel Eggs
Make your dentist appointments now, because these eggs are sweet, sticky and impossible to resist.
6. Pastel Versions of Regular Candy
It definitely feels like cheating, but we could never begrudge any form of M&Ms.
5. Lindt Chocolate Carrots
If only real carrots were so creamy and melty and full of pure sugar.
4. Reese’s Easter Eggs
You already know how we feel about regular ol’ Reese’s. Consider then, that these have an even higher peanut butter-to-chocolate ratio. Swoon .
3. Hollow Chocolate Bunnies
Hard pass on the solid bunnies. But dibs on the outer-shell-only ears—that hollow crunch is just so satisfying, isn’t it?
2. Cadbury Creme Eggs
Are they almost sickeningly sweet? Yes. Would Easter be complete without at least one? Every day for a month? Not a chance.
1. Cadbury Mini Eggs
The little cuties are touch less sweet than the previous and also in a gorge-able size. Win-win.
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