And ‘The Masked Singer’ Season 4 Winner Is…
I know we’re all going through a lot right now, but the time has come to check in on America’s (other) national nightmare: The Masked Singer. It seems like just yesterday that the Egg and the Banana landed on the hellscape known as planet Earth, and yet somehow, we have already endured three entire seasons of the show and are currently being subjected to a fourth. Yep, ever since season 4 premiered on September 23, our eyeballs have been exposed to both: (a) a whole new batch of “celebrity” contestants who need to fire their PR people and (b) a whole new batch of foods/animals that’ll be forever ruined. I mean, is there nothing better to do than watch mediocre singing and cringe-inducing dance moves for months on end, MY GOODNESS?!
Might I add, I will never eat a taco again thanks to THIS clearly evil criminal mastermind:
Because it’s best to keep our friends close and our enemies closer, here’s everything you need to know to stay up to date on The Masked Singer season 4, including every celebrity reveal each week. Help. Us. All.
The Characters…
Ugh, there’s really no way around this. Here are the creations “gracing” our nightmares television screens this season and a tracker of who has been eliminated so far:
WEEK ELEVEN: THE SUN, THE MUSHROOM, and THE CROCODILE
The People Behind the Masks: Nick Carter, LeAnn Rimes, and Aloe Blacc
It’s finally over! We’ve made it! Anyway, LeAnn Rimes won and Nick Carter and Aloe Blacc put in a good effort, so good job, everyone. You did it. Now flee before your costumes find you!
WEEK TEN: THE JELLYFISH, THE SEAHORSE, and THE POPCORN
The People Behind the Masks: Chloe Kim, Tori Kelly, and Taylor Dayne
No comment on these last two, but Chloe Kim makes total sense due to The Masked Singer being critically acclaimed (by me) as the Olympics of reality television.
WEEK NINE: THE BROCCOLI
The Person Behind the Mask: Paul Anka
Wow, love this questionable journey for him!
WEEK EIGHT: THE SERPENT and THE WHATCHAMACALLIT
The People Behind the Masks: Dr. Elvis Francois and Lonzo Ball
Truly shocked that Ken got this right.
WEEK SEVEN: THE SNOW OWLS
The People Behind the Masks: Clint Black and Lisa Hartman Black
Hoomst?
WEEK SIX: THE SQUIGGLY MONSTER
The Person Behind the Mask: Bob Saget
Shockingly, the judges actually got this reveal right. I’ve never been more stunned.
WEEK FIVE: THE LIPS
The Person Behind the Mask: Wendy Williams
In the words of Wendy herself, “I can’t sing, I can’t dance, but I know how to have fun.” Bless!
WEEK FOUR: BABY ALIEN
The Person Behind the Mask: Mark Sanchez
My prayers have been answered: Baby Alien is no longer lurking on The Masked Singer. This news is a true gift to a troubled society but a slight bummer for the celeb who ended up being behind the mask, the one and only Mark Sanchez!
WEEK THREE: THE GIRAFFE
The Person Behind the Mask: Brian Austin Green
I am…not okay. And by the looks of Brian Austin Green’s face emerging from that Giraffe head, neither is he.
WEEK TWO: THE GREMLIN
The Person Behind the Mask: Mickey Rourke
Well, guys, it finally happened: A celeb was so horrified by his own participation on this show that he didn’t even wait to get voted off and instead opted to chop his own masked head off. Nothing but respect.
WEEK ONE: THE DRAGON
The Person Behind the Mask: Busta Rhymes
Wait, okay, did The Masked Singer actually come through with its promise to feature way bigger names this season? I’m both impressed and bummed to see Busta get unmasked so soon but happy he’s no longer stuck inside a giant dragon costume!
Viewers Have a Say on Who Stays and Who Goes
Yup! We’ve got the power this season. For the first time in Masked Singer history, viewers have the ability to vote on their fave performances. Each week, a certain group of viewers, aka Super Fans, are chosen to be part of a virtual audience that allows them to watch each performer from home and vote on who they’d like to move forward.
The Judges and Host Are the Same
In case ya somehow didn’t already notice this: No one was replaced for season 4. Nick Cannon is still the host, and Nicole Scherzinger, Ken Jeong, Robin Thicke, and Jenny McCarthy are the panelists once again. This works out because who likes change anyway??
Reminder: Here’s How the Show Works
If you’ve never seen The Masked Singer, RUN AND HIDE, IT’S NOT TOO LATE. But also, here’s how the show works: Each week, a fleet of people who identify as “celebs” perform onstage whilst wearing costumes that are almost certainly cursed. They’re then voted off one at a time until there’s just one last mask standing.
T-Pain won season 1, Wayne Brady’s head popped out of a stuffed fox in season 2, Kandi Burruss took home the season 3 crown, and, honestly, who knows what might happen when season 4 eventually wraps, but it’s sure to be terrifying.
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