Colbert on Florida’s Rising Coronavirus Numbers: ‘In Florida, Even the Meth Has COVID’ (Video)

·2-min read

“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert used his monologue Tuesday night to address Florida’s handling of the coronavirus, and a recent report that COVID-19 case numbers in the state have risen significantly in the last two weeks.

After making light of some of the recent remote-learning decisions in various states due to COVID surges, and the child care issues they’ve created for parents (his joke: “I’m calling on the federal government to release our strategic reserve of mothers-in law”), Colbert moved on to the situation in the Sunshine State.

“We’ve got an update from the opposite of schools —  Florida,” he said to laughs, adding, “You cross the border, knowledge leaves.”

As he continued, Colbert tried to make light of the situation in Florida.

“Omicron is hitting Florida hard. In fact, in two weeks COVID cases there rose by 948%. At this point, they should start counting everyone in Florida who doesn’t have COVID. So, congratulations, Carl,” he said.

“Carl’s an alligator. He’s the only one who’ll wear a mask,” Colbert added with the show flashing to a photograph of an alligator with a Gators hat on its head.

He then ripped the state’s surgeon general, Dr. Joseph Ladapo, who on Monday, suggested less testing, as demand for tests increases. “We’re going to be working to unwind the sort of testing psychology that our federal leadership has managed to, unfortunately, get most of the country in over the last two years,” Ladapo said in a clip Colbert played for his audience. “We need to unwind this testing sort of planning and living one’s life around testing.”

Colbert’s response? “Apparently unwinding the testing means unknowing the knowledge. Unwinding the testing means unknowing the knowledge.”

“So, Florida’s new PCR test is a 2×4 to the noggin,” he said before mimicking a thud-type sound. “Negative!”

“This, no testing approach isn’t surprising,” Colbert continued. “Labado has a long history of being what the Orlanda sentinel called a ‘covid crank.’ ‘Covid crank,’ also the most popular drug in Florida, because in Florida even the meth has COVID.”

Watch the whole monologue above.