7 tips for coping with your first Christmas with menopause
Christmas can bring pressure to have the 'perfect' time, yet if you're experiencing your first festive season with the menopause, for some, this might feel even more daunting.
As well as juggling symptoms with regular work and family demands, you might notice any changes you've gone through could be exacerbated during the festive season.
"While you might sail through without an issue, you also might face your first Christmas with menopause wondering where the person you 'used to be' has gone," says menopause and gender equity consultant, Kate Usher. "The previously predictable monthly cycle of emotions, for some, is replaced by a maelstrom of extremes which can feel lonely and frightening.
"Learning to manage perimenopause or menopause can be overwhelming, with an ever-growing list of worsening symptoms. Then add the stresses of Christmas to the mix, and there will inevitably be times when it all becomes too much, and we just want to hide under the duvet."
Usher explains that the pressure to have a good time and be sociable at Christmas, accompanied with changing behaviours that can affect relationships, might drive some with menopause to withdraw further, "deepening the feelings of isolation and an inability to take control."
But, it by no means has to be all negative. Far from it. While you might be experiencing symptoms and changes, you can connect with yourself again.
"Menopause can feel scary, but there is so much we can do to gain control and enjoy the festive season with those we love. We simply need to take it one step at a time," says Usher.
Here's her top tips on how to deal with your first Christmas with menopause...
How to cope with your first Christmas with menopause
1. Get support
A problem shared is a problem halved, always.
"One of the biggest issues is the sense of isolation that menopause brings. Many feel nervous talking about it, as they fear what others will think," says Usher.
"Conversely our partner, and close friends and family will have probably noticed some form of change in us and will be worried. Gaining their support requires us to start the conversation. Tell them what's going on and it's impact – they will be relieved to know what it is."
2. Ask for help
"Once we've started talking now is the time to ask for help, whether it's simply a reassuring hug, explaining to in-laws what's going on or having someone on side to take the lead with hosting or conversation over your meal should you need to leave the room," Usher advises.
3. See this as an opportunity
"As you've hopefully managed to tell your partner what you're doing through (or friend or family member), you might now find it easier to open up more, which comes with benefits," she adds.
"Talking to our partner can bring us closer. It is an opportunity to develop our understanding of each other. This can of course benefit our intimate lives as well."
4. Manage stress
"Stress and menopause are a toxic partnership that exacerbates already troubling symptoms. We all know Christmas has many points of stress, so plan how you might deal with them," urges Usher.
"Breathing exercises, mindfulness and exercise in general, are excellent for managing stress. Start to make them part of your daily routine."
5. Remember to practice moderation
"Christmas is seen as a time for indulgence and excess. But sugar, alcohol and caffeine can play havoc with hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings, anxiety and fatigue to name a few. Now is the time for moderation and the discovery of alternatives that enable us to get into the swing of things, without feeling left out," Usher explains.
Though while it's important to be mindful with how you eat this Christmas (to help keep hormone levels more balanced), it doesn't mean you have to eliminate all sweet treats and indulgent food entirely.
6. Be a 'detective'
"If specific symptoms are causing the greatest impact, it's time to identify if anything makes them worse or brings them on," says Usher. You might want to try jotting this down on pen and paper and journaling.
"If there are certain foods, situations or people that cause an issue, now is the time to plan how they can be avoided or rescheduled for another time. If they are unavoidable this is where points one and two come into their own."
7. Plan some fun things
Aside from all the Christmas celebrations, it's important to do things with your loved ones you have chosen and enjoy.
"Don’t forget to organise some fun things, whether they are walks in the countryside, kitchen discos with friends, movies with the kids or time for intimacy with your partner. These are a key part of drawing joy and the love out of ourselves and from others around us," says Usher.
Remember, menopause affects everyone differently, and there is no such thing as 'perfect'.
For more information on the menopause and perimenopause visit the NHS website on things you can do to help and treatment options.
Speak to your GP, nurse or pharmacist for advice and help with your symptoms, find your nearest NHS or private menopause specialist on the British Menopause Society website, or find an NHS psychological therapies service.
Menopause: Read more
5 ways to eat for your hormone health this Christmas, according to a nutritionist (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
How menopause can affect your mood and other things you need to know (Yahoo Life UK, 9-min read)
Menopause and anxiety: Claire Sweeney signs up to Dancing On Ice to fight 'vulnerabilities' (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
Read more: NHS should offer women therapy for the menopause, new guidance says
